Well this is just great.
Nothing ever happens here. Ever. It's always the same, week in, week out. I take a little while off to look after my kids, the new baby having arrived Dukes of Hazzard style on the 4th and put the missus up on bricks, and all the excitement and drama happens at once.

Maybe I'm what's been keeping it boring :/

(seriously, what the fuck is going on?)
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Mon 29 Sep 2014, 22:26, 5 replies)

Dr. Shambolic didn't post for about 48 hours
Everybody fell to pieces.

He's the only thing keeping this place alive.
(well that went better than expected, Mon 29 Sep 2014, 22:43, closed)

Shamnbo had an Internet breakdown
after getting very upset online
( rofl harris, Mon 29 Sep 2014, 22:46, closed)

Doctor Shambolic kept losing arguments to a schizophrenic delusional loner residing in Australia. Enraged that in spite of his numerous degrees from flakey universities, three bed semi in dullsville and a pizza oven he kept getting bested online.
In puddles of tears he spent literally days of his life with trembling hands walloping his poor keyboard tracking down the last details of his vaunted foe. Now fully detached from reality he somehow imagined that by publishing this very important information online he thought he'd finally win whatever argument he imagined that he was having with another mental man.

He became even more upset when repeatedly banned. Like a punchdrunk fighter he keeps coming back under different accounts convinced that he'll finally win the argument and become Adam of Greyskull once more.
(Your name: Board Sig:, Mon 29 Sep 2014, 22:52, closed)

Is it really so upsetting for you that this stuff is so easy for me?

(well that went better than expected, Mon 29 Sep 2014, 22:56, closed)

Yes, you definitely appear frighteningly mental without any prompting or help. Well done you. That's what the third party moderator felt when banning you yet again.
Go home to your kids mate, they need their real dad back now, more than ever.
(Your name: Board Sig:, Mon 29 Sep 2014, 23:00, closed)

they've been in bed for three hours and I'm back from the pub
b3ta.com/talk/7769202
(well that went better than expected, Mon 29 Sep 2014, 23:01, closed)

Yeah so banned mate. By the mods. For being a creepy creepy creeepster.

(Your name: Board Sig:, Mon 29 Sep 2014, 23:05, closed)

yerr ... he must be gutted ... bet he won't show his face round here any more

(well that went better than expected, Mon 29 Sep 2014, 23:08, closed)

What is actually wrong with you?

( rofl harris, Mon 29 Sep 2014, 23:01, closed)

type 1 diabetes and a nagging rotator cuff injury in my right shoulder
thanks for asking
(well that went better than expected, Mon 29 Sep 2014, 23:02, closed)

I'm shocked that your own body hates you and wants you to die as quickly as possible.

(Your name: Board Sig:, Mon 29 Sep 2014, 23:04, closed)

hahayeah good one

(well that went better than expected, Mon 29 Sep 2014, 23:06, closed)

Oh, my mistake. Here was me having you down as a genetic failure.

(Your name: Board Sig:, Mon 29 Sep 2014, 23:14, closed)

oh man ... this is really upsetting stuff ... why oh why did I give you the ammunition to say such hurtful things?!?
oh yeah ... that's right ... because you're incredibly thick and easily manipulated
(well that went better than expected, Mon 29 Sep 2014, 23:19, closed)

So
You are having a breakdown then. This is so confusing.
( rofl harris, Mon 29 Sep 2014, 23:26, closed)

You've certainly manipulated me alright. I've fallen right into your hands and you've bested another vaunted foe online again.
You won't have to keep coming back here to have the last word. Again. You've won mate. *taps head*
(Your name: Board Sig:, Mon 29 Sep 2014, 23:26, closed)

I think because you've responded
Then he's won, because he wanted you to respond, or something, and anything you say, is because he engineered it and we're all idiots. I think.
( rofl harris, Mon 29 Sep 2014, 23:30, closed)

We're all his marionettes. There's a middle aged buffoon stalker in a dismal Cambridge semi controlling my every action.

(Your name: Board Sig:, Mon 29 Sep 2014, 23:38, closed)

So... a long-running subplot unexpectedly escalated to the series-ending finale, wherein The Dr was struck down by a tenacious foe, only to immediately regenerate as a "25 stone white american redneckish woman"? Meanwhile, a previously unabashed villain has also regenerated into a TTTing antihero?

Is this Dr Skagra Tribute Week?
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Mon 29 Sep 2014, 23:11, closed)

If not it should be
Worship me, sweeties!!!
(Dr Skagra glorious glargzhem, Mon 29 Sep 2014, 23:48, closed)

Being as you appear to be remaking the entire board in your image, I'd like to point out that I've always stuck up for your "Death of a Facilties Support Unit" story retelling of a genuine anecdote from one of your many incarnations.

So leave me alone, yeah? We're cool.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Mon 29 Sep 2014, 23:53, closed)

I'm not remaking anything sweetie
It's others wishing me death in fires and shit.

My lovely sweetiez!
(Dr Skagra glorious glargzhem, Mon 29 Sep 2014, 23:58, closed)

If you could die in a pile of burning shit,
I think we'd all be most appreciative.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 10:55, closed)

My toaster caught fire this morning
So your dreams almost came true sweetie!
(Dr Skagra glorious glargzhem, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 19:03, closed)

why would a time traveller need a toaster?
Anywhere in the universe has had a fire in or near it at some point. Just send the bread to that time and bring it back 3 minutes later. Or rather sooner if the fire was a star
(Carpe Cyprinidae, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 19:14, closed)

My TARDIS is broken sweetie
That's why I am trapped here with all you....

...sweeties...

Sweetie!

HTH
(Dr Skagra glorious glargzhem, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 19:25, closed)

*puts hand up* Ooh! I know, I know!!
It's because it's* NOT a time traveller. It's just a sad, lonely, pervy, weird, teenage** Dr Who fan with too much time on its hands, and a lack of imagination caused by lack of real human interaction?

What do I win?

*because it's now pretending to be female. Jeez.

**God I hope it's teenage - it would be horrendous if it was older
(The Magic Number is neither magic nor a number, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 19:28, closed)

OK, you dont like Skagra, getting that....
I actually find him/her moderately amusing. I dont care what age he or she is, or in fact what age any of you are. His previous incarnation was pretty much my ideal Dr.Who / Malcolm Tucker hybrid. The current one is odd to say the least but there's genuine creativity in Skagra's postings

And I like that even when she comes up with a deeply odd and somewhat disturbing offering like this weeks magnum opus.
(Carpe Cyprinidae, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 19:37, closed)

Thanks sweetie
XXX
(Dr Skagra glorious glargzhem, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 19:54, closed)

^Words fail me

(The Magic Number is neither magic nor a number, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 19:59, closed)

Apparently not
sadly!
(Dr Skagra glorious glargzhem, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 20:01, closed)

I think the done thing is to say
'Upset Online'

ha ha!
(Dr Skagra glorious glargzhem, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 19:54, closed)

Close, but the 'done thing' is to start a fire and die in it

(The Magic Number is neither magic nor a number, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 20:00, closed)

My toaster etc
Come on pudding brains, is fire all you got?!


XXXXXXXXXXXXXX
(Dr Skagra glorious glargzhem, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 20:01, closed)

No, but I am enjoying these SHORT AND TO THE POINT* replies
*hint: You're usually long-winded and boring as shit
(The Magic Number is neither magic nor a number, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 20:04, closed)

Thanks sweetie
Special kisses 4or U

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXX XX
(Dr Skagra glorious glargzhem, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 20:05, closed)

Awwww that's sweet, but wouldn't you be better spending this time fixing your TARDIS?*
*Or quitting pretending and getting a life**
(The Magic Number is neither magic nor a number, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 20:09, closed)

My... my God... YOU'RE RIGHT!
I'm going to STOP pretending to be this Doctor Skagra character, and start living a normal life - the life of who I really am, Cedric Hooper of 25 Meopham Gardens, Hackney Wick.

Time to put all this 'Time Lord' stuff behind me - and - and - be... A MAN!!!

Nah not reely.

I AM DOCTOR SKAGRA

My breasts are small, but pert.

AND I AM A TIME LADY.

Deal.

Sweetie X
(Dr Skagra glorious glargzhem, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 20:13, closed)

Ah, so close!
I nearly managed to drag you back from the brink then and in to reality.

Hey ho - nothing left now but to up the meds.
(The Magic Number is neither magic nor a number, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 20:15, closed)

Of course you did dear.
Ha ha

I bet you googled that address!
(Dr Skagra glorious glargzhem, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 20:21, closed)

No
Why would I? I don't care about what you have to say.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (because you forgot the kisses)
(The Magic Number is neither magic nor a number, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 20:22, closed)

The feeling
is mutual.

MWAH!
(Dr Skagra glorious glargzhem, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 20:23, closed)

This is the shittest subthread I have ever started.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 21:05, closed)

Yay!
Another shatisfied cunstomer!
(Dr Skagra glorious glargzhem, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 21:47, closed)

It's been wall-to-wall grumpiness. I'm not racist against Gallifreyans or owt.

Have you regenerated into Sean Connery?
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 21:55, closed)

No...
still the sexy antwoman with raven hair and small (but pert) tits.
(Dr Skagra glorious glargzhem, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 22:11, closed)

To quote the time-travelling spin-doctor
Its been omnishambolic
(Carpe Cyprinidae, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 21:03, closed)