On my bike!
Walking to work this time! On my way to work, I get stopped by a polite man on an old run down bike.

He stops me, looks me up and down, and tells me that I'm about the same size as his friend. Um, that's nice?
But that's not all, he had just bought this bike especially for her and wanted to know if she would be able to ride it. This old bike that looked like it had just been dragged out of the sea.

He asked me to get on his bike to see what the size was like. I'm so confused! Is that a chat up line? Did he really have a friend that he needed me to try his bike out on? Is bike a euphemism? Did he just want me on the bike so he could run away with my bag?

I'll never know, as naturally I declined. Any ideas?

Oh and a recent one which made for a large amount of awkward at work. My colleagues dad is a regular customer and he'll often come in and put his arm round your shoulder. Which I'm fine with, put your arm round my shoulders, whatever.
Anyway, he comes in and tells me he hasn't been well with his knee or somesuch other old man thing. I tell him that was a shame, I missed seeing you in here!

So he asks where his hug is and puts his arms out. Internally sighing I go to give him a quick "patpat" hug.
For an old man, he can move fucking fast. One hand has clamped itself on one of my tits, the other has wrapped around me like a creepy octopus. In my ear, I get,

"Do you like this do you? You're lovely, you are. My car's outside, when do you finish?"

This guy is 70 something and my colleagues DAD! On the cameras you see me pull away sharpish, my hands cross over my chest and my face is just shock itself. Horrible horrible old men. I don't touch anyone now and I manage to disappear sharpish-like when he comes in.

Woe is me :(

Oh and I pulled today whilst shopping too. A man (Arabian again*) didn't realise I had a face and walked into a pushchair while looking behind him. I laughed :)



*I got to say I've got nothing against most Arabians. Half my family are from Kuwait(through marriage) and they are great! They would get a royal good hiding if they so much as looked at a girl disrespectfully! It just seems to be that obviously some girls here are sleeping with enough of them that they must think we are all like that!

Ending on a positive note for once!

Best one I heard, and I think it backfired slightly, was this one.

Him: Hey..um... are you free tonight.. or, or do you charge?
Me: Are you calling me a prostitute?
Him: No! Oh god, um I meant are you free, as in not doing anything tonight, not as in money, and and and......
Me: *Roffling internally*

Bless the little cutie. I let him buy me a drink to make up for it, but unfortunately, my services weren't for offer that night :)
(becky_bubbles, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 20:44, 8 replies)

video
If you have video - use it!
Not acceptable, and he needs to learn this lesson in no uncertain terms.
(justin(e), Sat 12 Dec 2009, 4:16, closed)

old bloke with bike...
www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=snaddle&defid=2067306
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Sun 13 Dec 2009, 20:30, closed)

.....
Ughh I cringed. That's actually a fetish.. I wonder if that's why people put carrier bags on their bike seats...
(becky_bubbles, Tue 15 Dec 2009, 23:05, closed)

"I Iet him buy me a drink to make up for it"
So you embarassed him, then in way of an apology accepted a drink he paid for, with no intention of returning the favour, euphemistically or likewise?
How noble of you.
(TheColonel, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 10:37, closed)

Embarrasment at best is inevitable
as soon as you ask a girl 'if she charges'. I don't think Becky can be blamed here. In fact I know many girls that would slap anyone who came near them with that little doozy.
(ConanTroutman thought we would free the vulture, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 11:00, closed)

Aww, It's not that bad.
I may have written it slightly harshly there, I guess. We are really good friends now and I reckon we are about even on the "who's round is it now" score. :)
(becky_bubbles, Tue 15 Dec 2009, 23:03, closed)

Saddle sniffer

(ubergeekian, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 11:39, closed)

Clearly
He was a peddlephile.
( Dervel OTBC, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 14:40, closed)