Childhood AmbitionsHoratioFellatio writes:
"At the tender age of 13, my little hairless clockweights squirted their first dose of testosterone into my blood stream. The result was a mental alarm clock shouting, 'I NEED TO LOOK AT GIRL'S FANNIES.' I reasoned that if I became a Gynaecologist, I'd get to look at fannies all day.
"It was only when I reached the age of about 16 and learnt about STD's and yeast infections that I realised I'd only ever get to see diseased ones."
Tell us about your childhood career ambitions and the moment at which your aspirations crumbled into a pile of broken dreams.
(
chthonic, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 12:02)
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Flashdance!As a young girl, I wanted to be an actress, as you do. Hence, I tried out for my school musical, as you do. I was cast in a revue as the Wicked Witch from Wizard of Oz. Directly after the bit from Wizard of Oz was the Grease bit, so I wore my Grease costume underneath the Wizard of Oz one.
When I was hit with the bucket of water, the flying monkeys surrounded me in a circle, I took off the witch costume and wig, and crawled under the curtain, leaving them onstage. Lo and behold: melted.
On opening night, I fell down the set of stairs backstage and twisted my ankle. I could stand, but I could not dance. Therefore, as I could not participate in the Grease segment, the following night, I did not wear my Grease costume under my witch costume. I did not realize the error inherent in this until I took off the witch costume.
In that moment, standing in my skimpy undergarments, surrounded by young men leaping about and grunting like monkeys, I knew that I was not meant to be an actress.
Now I am a stripper.*
*Not really.
(, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 21:36, Reply)
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