Childhood AmbitionsHoratioFellatio writes:
"At the tender age of 13, my little hairless clockweights squirted their first dose of testosterone into my blood stream. The result was a mental alarm clock shouting, 'I NEED TO LOOK AT GIRL'S FANNIES.' I reasoned that if I became a Gynaecologist, I'd get to look at fannies all day.
"It was only when I reached the age of about 16 and learnt about STD's and yeast infections that I realised I'd only ever get to see diseased ones."
Tell us about your childhood career ambitions and the moment at which your aspirations crumbled into a pile of broken dreams.
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chthonic, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 12:02)
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Pre-school sex offender thought crime wrongnessAt the age of five - spurred on by the thought of the bikini-clad blonde who was my swimming instructor - I had the singular career ambition of spending my life kidnapping and tying up a number of MILFs from our housing estate, forcing them into skimpy bikinis and hiding them behind the bins at the end of our garden.
My plan involved riding up behind the intended victim on my tricycle (I wasn't quite up to two wheels at this stage), grabbing them, and forcing them to do my evil bidding.
Quite how this was to be achieved is beyond me even to this day, but I even went through a "dry run" one day after playgroup, and fell off my trike trying to perfect my 'grab' technique. Bleeding all over the place, I sort of lost interest in the whole idea.
Luckily, I grew up and realised you could see ladies' wobbly parts just by asking them nicely. Otherwise, I'd probably be sharing a room with Peter Sutcliffe by now, getting bummed senseless by the warders.
Clicking on I Like This! will help pay for my therapy.
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Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 12:52,
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