Childhood AmbitionsHoratioFellatio writes:
"At the tender age of 13, my little hairless clockweights squirted their first dose of testosterone into my blood stream. The result was a mental alarm clock shouting, 'I NEED TO LOOK AT GIRL'S FANNIES.' I reasoned that if I became a Gynaecologist, I'd get to look at fannies all day.
"It was only when I reached the age of about 16 and learnt about STD's and yeast infections that I realised I'd only ever get to see diseased ones."
Tell us about your childhood career ambitions and the moment at which your aspirations crumbled into a pile of broken dreams.
(
chthonic, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 12:02)
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Spacewhen i was a nipper i always wanted to go into space. it sounded great. all that freedom, peace and exploration.
i was always stuck at home doing chores though so didnt think i'd stand a chance. then all of a sudden this demented wizard bloke starts waving these neon tubes around telling me, me dad's someone else. i know he's got the wrong bloke cos i've got daddies photo next to me bed.
oh well thinks me, in for a penny an' all, good excuse to get away from home. soon enough me, the wizard, some mincing perv in gold body pant and a dwarf in a dustbin (fuckin weirdos) nip off to this cantina full of retarded special people. while the old farts off trying to hitch a lift to space i got completely mashed on death sticks (?!) and keep hearing weird fucking voices everywhere i go.
suffice to say we get into space, the wizard gives me a neon tube of me own, and i try and fuck my sister.
and despite the old buggers suicide i still here him, think i caught demented off him. i've even started hallucianting now. i'm trying to figure out why he's blue and not green.
Dont do drugs kids, it'll fuck you up reet good. right now i'm convinced theres some kind of hobgoblin on me back asking me to do somersaults. in a swamp.
fucksocks.......
(, Wed 4 Apr 2007, 10:19, Reply)
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