Childhood Memories...

When I was a youngster I was quite naïve
You’ll be staggered to hear of the things I’d believe
Stuff like ‘kissing it better’ could cure any pain
And that should the wind change, then my belm would remain!

The entire universe would revolve around me
And some small people lived deep inside my TV
I thought dad was the strongest man in the whole world
And I’d vom vital organs each time that I hurled

If I swallowed my gum then my tum would explode
And road-kill was ‘asleep’ at the side of the road
I thought girls couldn’t fart, and I'm still in some doubt...
Are their cloppers just cocks that are turned inside-out?

If I touched things called ‘drugs’ I’d fall instantly dead
There's a ‘sleepy time monster’ that's under my bed
If I frequently fwapped then I feared I would find…
That my hands would go hairy...and then I'd go blind

But the worst lie of all, and it's really a stinker,
I totally fell for it - hook, line and sinker
That if I behave, and I work really hard
Then 'the world is my oyster'…

...

Yep, I'm a spacktard!
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 19 Jan 2012, 11:48, 9 replies)

Top marks for poetry AND lols!
A rare treat!
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 12:12, closed)

May as well stop the QOTW now

Nothing will top this
(The Magic Number is neither magic nor a number, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 12:21, closed)

The world is your oyster, and you have a seafood allergy.

( .Yeti., Thu 19 Jan 2012, 12:40, closed)

*clicks really quite hard*

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 14:42, closed)

*wonders why there hasn't been a 'fuck me, that's awesome' button added yet*
Fuck me, that's awesome. Well done to you, well done!

*stands and applauds*
( NooShmoo It's a fantazmagorical pile of ultra bollocks, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 14:49, closed)

Awww.....

*blushes*
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 19 Jan 2012, 14:52, closed)

*clicks*
*applauds*

Excellent!
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 11:06, closed)

This is truly great!

FTW!!!
(King Nightmare, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 15:15, closed)

All of the above.
Bravo
(MadBouncyDog Barking at the moon since, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 19:20, closed)

I like this very much :D

( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 19:23, closed)