Probably a couple of wife related things
Waiting until her hair was well and truly shampooed up in the shower, then creeping in while she had her eyes closed washing it out.

I recommend everyone try this (use your own wife or girlfriend). Went right up to the bath and put my face about 1 inch from her nose and just stayed there. The terrified screamy face clutching when she opened her eyes was fulsome, protracted, and like some sort of 50s B movie trailer depicted by Edward Munch. Awesome.

Another time I also laughed so hard I nearly pissed myself, we were walking with friends to a pub, holding hands. She was walking backwards briefly talking to someone behind. So I maintained our path - mine, clear; hers, blocked by a BT phonebox. What I couldn't have planned was that she would turn round to resume walking forwards at the exact moment we reached the phonebox and splat, insect-like against the perspex.

These things will probably cease being funny if I accidentally hurt her one day, but she's been ok so far.
( Throat And Ice Pie I see dem tatties dere., Fri 18 Sep 2009, 13:29, 5 replies)

When you said the bath thing
I thought you were going to say you kept adding more shampoo as she tried to rinse it out.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 13:32, closed)

*adds to list*

( Throat And Ice Pie I see dem tatties dere., Fri 18 Sep 2009, 13:33, closed)

Thanks...
... for making me snort loudly with laughter! Am getting strange looks now from across the office.
I'll get my coat.
(canarynightlife "Some weasel nicked the cork from my lunch! ", Fri 18 Sep 2009, 14:40, closed)

Mrs Chalkwitheringlicktacklefeff is so short that her feet don't touch the floor when she sits on her office chair.
So when she has her headset on (she may be talking on Skype or listening to music or something) I run in and grab her chair and pull it about 2 meters away from the computer desk so she can't reach the keyboard.

One time, Mrs C and I were stood on a bridge overlooking a river and a weir. It was a romantic evening as we stood looking at the water. I thought it would be a romantic gesture to push her face into some (dried and rock-hard) seagull poo encrusted onto the parapet of the bridge. At least it wasn't still wet.
(Seance Trumpet has got no beef with a man enjoying a croissant, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 16:06, closed)

I like to..
edge closer and closer into the bushes when I'm walking outside with the missus, just to see how close I can get before she realises what I'm trying to do - or ends up in a hedge, or both.
(danniekavanagh did nothing constructive on, Sat 19 Sep 2009, 14:26, closed)