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This is a question Christmas Tales

Deskbound says: "We found my nan's false teeth under the table a few hours after we'd finished Christmas lunch. The teeth still had a mouthful of food in them." Share your Crimble-related stories.

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 15:09)
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Poor old George the local Tesco trolley guy had a mild heart attack on the 22nd Dec*. After being told by his manager repeatedly that working at a large Supermarket chain he will get paid in full and stay at home so he can recover fully he turned up late afternoon Christmas Eve.
“Alright George, after all you've been through just stand politely by the door and explain that we’re shutting we don’t want to exasperate your situation when we all know that you should really be at home recuperating”
At 5 to 5 this guy came up to the door you know the type small, rat faced, lank hair and dishevelled waving a huge black dildo that, well let’s just say not only looked uncommon placed in a customer’s hands but had definitely been well used, almost as if someone had been hacking the bottom of it with Doc Martin boots, he was salivating ,spitting and drooling about the need for baby milk whilst proffering what was evidently a hand full of chocolate coins as payment , now George was getting a bit worried and decided that best thing would be to call for his immediate supervisor which was a good thing to do.
This guy looked like he had a fleet of Honda Accords at the ready and knew a thing about martial arts even though he was slightly less than George’s full height of 5’1” on tip toe, so as Doris the cleaning supervisor makes her way to front doors this guy legs it.
10 minutes later just as George was about to leave he noticed the return of this weirdo customer , as he feared for his life he got Doris to call the police and so they tried to stall him until the community at large could be protected from this evidentially deranged person demanding their names.
He managed to stalled him for a while even giving the names of Dan Germose and Beth Holjonamo, however he made his way in to the night going on to assault who ever knows

George said this guy had a look in eyes like they were in the wrong and that he wished something really bad on them, but after all it was Christmas and this guy probably had his own perspective on how the whole events had unfolded
*he told us this story at the local on Boxing Day**
** Or maybe it NEVER happened at all
(, Mon 30 Dec 2013, 21:25, 16 replies)

(, Mon 30 Dec 2013, 21:33, closed)

(, Mon 30 Dec 2013, 21:34, closed)
Needs more manger and some kings of orient are.

(, Mon 30 Dec 2013, 22:00, closed)

(, Mon 30 Dec 2013, 22:04, closed)

(, Mon 30 Dec 2013, 22:08, closed)
Link a brother up Rory
(, Mon 30 Dec 2013, 22:20, closed)
Tell me you didn't just ask for a link to paedo comics.

(, Tue 31 Dec 2013, 13:06, closed)
I didn't just ask for a link to paedo comics, link me up with what the hell dirt you have on Ed.
(, Tue 31 Dec 2013, 13:51, closed)
Never had none me.
I know it's never been done on the internet before but
you'll just have to make sutin up.
(, Tue 31 Dec 2013, 14:35, closed)
For fuck's sake.
This, read with a hard 'g'. I dunno, kids these days
(, Tue 31 Dec 2013, 14:48, closed)
Finally, an honest, truthful and marginally amusing story.
Can we have a new QOTW now please?
(, Mon 30 Dec 2013, 22:02, closed)
^ What Woody said ^

(, Mon 30 Dec 2013, 22:03, closed)
Is this what passes for amusing, now?

(, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 10:03, closed)
Not in my book, no.

(, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 10:07, closed)
eh, what?

(, Tue 31 Dec 2013, 9:50, closed)
small world
George reminds me of someone, can't think who though....
(, Tue 31 Dec 2013, 14:30, closed)

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