2009 South Korea
I had just completed an epic motorbike journey across Russia, central Asia and Mongolia. And I had gotten off the ferry from Vladivostok to Sokcho.

I made it to Seoul 5 days later.

While there I simply binged out to put the weight back on for 5 weeks. I then met a german bloke called Simon. It was a sunday... we were bored.... Somebody said lets go to Church...

We were still buzzing drunk from the night before where we'd been drinking till 8am.

So we went to Church Korean, the English Congregation filled with ESL types. There was even a famous Korean pop star who went there. Korean style is funny as in odd Simon and I were total frauds, we did not bring bibles and went to watch the Karaoke esq hymms sung. Really really toasted still and stinking of Soju and beer. The pastor looked very angry at us as Simon proceeded ask stupid question and 'test the faith' of the pastor with logical if god is so.... type questions.

The pastor got very very angry... we could see his lip quivering at the anger. We watched a few blessings and Simon handed me a beer. Even I was a what the hell! at this....

We sat through the service and ironically even though we were both atheist frauds we were the only people to put money on the donation plate. More blessings which felt creepy.... I thought if they touched me I would burst into flames.

We drifted out and went back to the hostel. Simon left for a week and came back Saturday night....... joined by a Spanish guy called Jesus who ironically looked a lot like the classical blue eyed long hair Jesus..... we drank a LOT again and Simon suddenly was very very sober and said I have to apologise to the pastor....

Simon, Jesus and I went to the church again.... and acted all nice and apologetic even crying..... this was totally out of charactor for him. He sat through the service completely silent and at the end when people were gathering, he introduced Jesus to everybody.......

This is my friend Jesus H Christ.... (Jesus spoke neither English or Korean) open eyed shock everywhere. Which felt like it was on the verge of a punch up..... Simon saved the day by saying I mean Christie... Polite Korean society did not allow them to beat us to death. and they accepted this through clenched teeth.... A German guy didn't buy it and wasn't a polite Korean ignore it type and confronted Simon in the lobby. He simply nutted Simon and knocked him out cold..

I left Korea for China later that day....
(kennichi, Fri 2 Sep 2011, 23:21, 2 replies)

simon is a dick
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Sat 3 Sep 2011, 10:41, closed)

But not as bad as the German guy.
Insecurity, hypocrisy and lack of self control in one dickish package.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Sat 3 Sep 2011, 22:41, closed)