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This is a question Shit Claims to Fame II

My car was in the Specsavers advert with the old lady and the loud stereo. Not me. My stupid blue Nissan Micra. Tell us about your brushes with fame.

Suggested by Amorous Badger

(, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 15:49)
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OMD? OMG! The ‘Um Bongo’ Incident...

Too many short answers! Please allow me to balance it out with some longwinded wank.

I used to work for a newspaper and once got the late, great Frankie Howerd to say something like ‘Titter ye not’ or ‘Ooooh what a blunder’ (I can’t remember which catchphrase exactly, I was pisstarded at the time). He was very nice though.

I was once forcibly thrown out of a hospital by Princess Michael of Kent’s security guard because I didn’t know the press etiquette, wandered into a restricted ward and started snapping photos of her over some patient’s bed. Damn Paparazzi...I am thee!

However, my very favourite claim to fame had nothing to do with my job. It was 24th August 1991. I went to see Simple Minds play at the Milton Keynes Bowl (don’t judge me fuckers!). On the day they were supported by the Stranglers and OMD. We had queued early and got to the very front. Being responsible kids, we also had our packed lunches with us as it was going to be a long day. Everything was going tickety, however, when OMD came on, they seemed to have a bit of a problem. The crowd weren’t very appreciative and there was some booing. They also suffered technical problems and they started a bit of a diva act, shrugging their shoulders and blaming the poor techies etc. The booing increased, they were getting considerably narked and decided to turn on the audience and insult us somewhat. 'Unwise' I thought. Finally they got their act together and started running through their ‘hits’ (typolol, I meant ‘shit’). But by then the crowd were against them, and they didn’t exactly love the crowd back.

To be fair to him, lead singer Andy McClusky didn’t take this lightly and he started fucking about, enraging everybody ever further. Inevitably the objects started flying at him. He just stuck his two fingers up and wound everyone up even more. In the end he climbed down off the stage (which was no mean feat – there was quite a gap and then a load of scaffolding to negotiate) and ran past the haters at the front, holding out his arm and ‘slapping’everyone as he ran past. By this time, people were veins-popping-out-of-the-head angry. I could see people grabbing out at him with clenched fists and punches being thrown by increasingly lairy folk. He just danced out of the way and smirked.

Eventually, he decided enough was enough, and satisfied with his pisstaking of the audience, he went to clamber back on to the stage. He climbed aboard the scaffolding easily enough as the fuming audience continued to roar their disapproval. However, as he was trying to get up the final section on to the stage, he struggled a bit. As I watched him flap, I don’t know what came over me. I just looked down at my lunchbox, took out my carton of Um Bongo, and hurled it at him as hard as I could.

This was from quite a way away, and I’m a shit shot at the best of times. My only explanation is 'I just got lucky’. At the exact moment he finally climbed aboard the stage and stood up, the carton hit him squarely on the back of the head. He was still unbalanced and this assault via Um Bongo missile was just enough to send him sprawling, star-shaped over the floor of the stage.

60,000 people erupted into a huge cheer. As Mr McClusky rolled around the stage, people began patting me on the back and congratulating me on my accuracy with a fruit based drink. It’s the closest I’ve ever got to actually being famous myself. Nowadays doing that sort of shite would at least get you a slot on a reality show or something.

TL;DR – Twat tries twatting about in front of 60,000 people. Another twat twats him
(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:21, 8 replies)
This is ace.

(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:28, closed)

(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:31, closed)
And do they really...
...drink it in the congo?

A Mod who has been to the Congo says: NO. They're big on Vimto, though
(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:49, closed)
Much as I love the story anyway..
Clicky for the TL;DR version - on a par with Malcolm Tucker's 'Come the fuck in, or fuck the fuck off'
(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:59, closed)
I actually quite liked OMD back in the day...
...but not enough to prevent me from clicking on this post.

You should have yelled "Enola Gay!" at him just as the Um Bongo made contact.
(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 11:14, closed)
nice one
have a click
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:16, closed)
This = Brilliant
Best so far
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:45, closed)
Thin pickings - we might have a winner
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 19:52, closed)

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