Class
The area I grew up in while officially Surrey was on the cusp of Saaaaf Lahndaaahn, at my school it was acceptable for your family to have money as long as you were academically stunted and spoke like Ray Winstone. The mouth breathers I went to school with (described above) invented what can only be described as a caste system for the different social groups in our year: The Whispas – money and/or looks and/or sporting ability, big surprise for them when they entered the real world after secondary school (I hope). The pussy posse – identikit football obsessed YSL shirts and pinstripe trousers latent homosexuality bubbling just under the surface bless’em. The foreign legion – All the ethnic minorities who hung around in a large group together, possibly plotting the overthrow of Western society but who knows eh they’re inscrutable that lot Daily Star Princess Diana Eastenders and so on and so forth. The geeks – timid, conformist and took schoolwork seriously. The freaks – everyone else who they couldn’t readily pigeonhole, this included the mentally/behaviourally subnormal. One day a ‘freak’ was sent out of PE after being repeatedly punched by one of the ‘pussy posse’, he took advantage of being in the changing room alone to relieve himself over the school uniform of the pussy in question and leave for the day. The pussy saw out the end of the day in his PE kit. Rather than being hailed for breaking down the caste system and showing that he had a voice and feelings etc, they jumped the freak before school started, denuded him and wedged him into one of the plastic bins on the rec ground behind the school. With only his feet and head showing out of the bin and his arms firmly wedged behind him he could neither climb out, nor work up enough momentum to tip the bin and escape. This being a blisteringly hot day in June, by the early afternoon he had become terribly dehydrated. Luckily the way he had been wedged, with some careful angling did allow for one extreme solution. Long story short he pissed in his own mouth.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 15:22, 11 replies)

James Joyce lives!

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 15:55, closed)

Nah - there's a full stop 5 lines down

( buffet_the_appetite_slayer ٩(●̮̃•)۶ jacked in to the ICE on, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 16:17, closed)

Pfft

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 17:19, closed)

I found little cryptography in this narration.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Wed 26 Mar 2014, 20:27, closed)

Yep,
got to the end of the story and realised it wasn't very interesting. Never mind Timmy.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Wed 26 Mar 2014, 22:05, closed)

itscommoncurtesywhenrecyclingfortheumpteenthtimeaparticularmemeticreferenceonacomedywebsitetodosoinamannerthatpreventsthereadersofthatcomedywebsitebeingstruckdownwithclusterheadachesowingtohavingtowadethroughanimpenetrablewallofbadlypunctuatedandincoherentramblingswithhalfanexcuseforastoryfightingtogetoutespeciallywhentheremightbesomesortofattemptatgoingforthedoublebyincludingmentionofbothurinatinginmouthsandfailingtostayaboutfrombinsbutifthisisthewayyouchoosetopresentyourstoryeveryonewillultimatelyhateyounomattertheobjectivequalityofyourstorytellingifcorrectlyparsedandpunctuated
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 16:17, closed)

So,
SOrry _ i'll
tRy
hardsr.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 17:14, closed)

^ wha
th esa
id
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 18:17, closed)

You utter, utter, utter, utter, utter, utter, utter, utter, utter, utter, utter, utter, utter, utter, utter, utter, utter, utter, utter, utter, utter, utter, utter, utter, utter, utter, utter, utter, utter, utter, utter, utter, utter, utter, utter cunt

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 17:53, closed)

Glad you approve.

(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 18:15, closed)

Motherfucker.

( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Wed 26 Mar 2014, 23:41, closed)