People who...
aim to get their luggage before the seatbelt light has turned off, and some even before the plane has stopped.

The damn crew have asked you to keep your seat and seatbelt on until the plane has stopped and the seatbelt has turned off.

obey the damn instructions, you twats.
(scotsbloke, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 15:30, 13 replies)

Shan't.
If I have hand luggage and I want to get off the twunting plane without waiting for squillions of sheeple who all want to do the decent thing and queue up like mongs, I'm going to want to be first off the mark. If the plane has actually stopped on the stand, I can't see what sort of emergency is going to arise that might justify my needing a seatbelt on.

Rarr!
(surlygirl spanked your monkey on, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 15:45, closed)

the aisle is thin
and you're probably fat.

Sit the fuck down and act civilised for once in your life.

Christ! what price patience!

rafter
baz
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 15:48, closed)

I don't do patience.
Travelling on business does that to a person. Holiday flights I can see your point, but otherwise it's fair game.
(surlygirl spanked your monkey on, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 15:50, closed)

If everyone queued...
We'd all get off in the order that we're sat. Which is how it should be.

I can't see what sort of emergency means you can't wait in your seat until the seatbelt lights go off, the engines have stopped? You aint going anywhere till they open the door anyway, so all you're doing is blocking the aisles so noone else can do what they have to.

Plus you probably have one of them small suitcases that still has wheels and a handle... that SHOULD BE FUCKING CHECKED IN WITH THE REST OF EM!
(steh30, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 16:16, closed)

What if the plane suddenly stops
and you fall over, dropping your bag from the locker onto a small child, instantly killing it?

Eh?

Eh?
(Shippy likes linebreaks and doesn't care what you think, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 18:06, closed)

The mongs are the ones trying to get off the plane too early
Thinking you're more important than anyone else by calling them "sheeple" and then acting like a twunt doesn't make it any better.

You're probably one of those people that try to get on a train before everyone's gotten off. The sort of person I take great delight in bouncing right out and onto the platform. If you're up for pushing onto the train, surely I'm just as justified to push you off?
(Kliper Filllets Getting noticed by twats on the internet since, Wed 21 Oct 2009, 10:57, closed)

Easy
I just sit back in my seat and get another 20 minutes shut-eye in my drunken stupour then get off after everyone else.
When I get to the carousel my bag is waiting, rather than getting there first and having to wait for them to load it on.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 16:29, closed)

yeah
This is what I try to do. My as well keep my seat until the queue has died down then grab my stuff and leave.

simple.
(scotsbloke, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 16:45, closed)

Yup...
Sit back and wait for the sheep to clear the fuck out. Amble along and grab your waiting bag and saunter through customs like your carrying 5 keys.

Worse than the rush to get off though is the rush to get a seat on Ryanair free for all unallocated seating flights. I actually got barged out of the way in the departure shed, again just out side the door and then again on the fucking tarmac on the way to the plane. Fucking fuck nuggets! I think they might have stopped that genius idea now.

I did have to laugh the last time I flew. Late night flight about 20 people in the departure lounge, call for priority boarding (an extra £20), one person got up, had their boarding pass checked, started walking down the ramp and then they immediatley started boarding the other 19 of us. £20 well spent!
( z0mb13e has a bee in his botnet, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 19:06, closed)

I'm with you.
I have a little relax, and a smile at the morons trying to get out of the plane before the doors are open. Then smile again, knowing they'll be waiting for 10 minutes at the carousel because the luggage hasn't even been taken off the plane yet.

I haven't seen yet, but would love to see a pilot "brake-testing" the passengers just for the hell of it, like the way bus drivers like to do occasionally. I would derive immense satisfaction out of seeing overweight sales reps falling over in the aisle because they're too fucking important to do what they've been told to do for safety's sake.
(David CopAFeel Used to be The_Elcat - Spouting crap since 1970., Mon 19 Oct 2009, 22:41, closed)

Getting compensation...
What would worry me is that if people tried to sue the airline for compensation from any resulting injury from the pilot slamming on the brakes when the seatbelt light and actually getting it.
(scotsbloke, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 10:22, closed)

It's the people who insist on standing up as soon as the light goes off
What are you going to achieve?

Want to be first off the plane? Sit close to one of the exits then! Do not stand there making annoyed noises because there's a queue to disembark whilst pushing your arse into my face.

Are you simply trying to get to the baggage reclaim before the bags come out? Moron!

Do you want to piss me right off? Well, carry on then - you're doing a fantastic job.
(Shippy likes linebreaks and doesn't care what you think, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 18:10, closed)

but
some pikey might nick my 3200 B&H and 10 litres of cheap vodka!
(randomstupidname would really like this signature field to be bigge, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 20:26, closed)