Saarfend DSS
A woman walks into her local Benefits Agency and collars an employee who happens to have an expensive suit, pointy blond hair and a flappy long coat.

"Ah wahnt sam benifits fer me kihds!"

The gentleman replies in a cultured Geordie accent "What are their names madam?"

"Wehll, there's Wahyne, Wahyne, Wahyne and Wahyne"

"Do you mean to tell me madam, that they all have the same first name?"

"Yeah, they're nahmed afta their dada innit. When it's dinna time I shahts 'Waaaaaaaaaayne, getcherfarkinarsetothetable'. When it's time for bed I shahts 'Waaaaaaaayne, getcherfarkinarseupdemstairsnarh'. It's easy to remember innit?"

"Ah, you misunderstand me madam. What happens when you want just one of the kids?"

"Ah, dat's easy. I jus' shaht their surname innit"
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 16 Oct 2008, 23:03, 9 replies)

I hope this
is a joke, but then again given the state of this country it's all too easy to believe.
(Evilweevil is covered in bees, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 23:08, closed)

It is,
but I liked it...



I think I have used that same joke while working with young people, kind of gets the point across.
( Rev. Jayneflakes Buy my book, I need the cash for drugs and hookers, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 0:40, closed)

The DSS employee
sounds suspiciously like DG innit....
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 23:11, closed)

Yep
I'm going to have him cameo in more of my posts I think. I'll put subtler references in future, maybe a "spot the DG" competition
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 16 Oct 2008, 23:13, closed)

Ooooooh!
With pyizes and everything? Can we win beer please?
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 23:17, closed)

"Cultured Geordie accent"?
Me?

Ah divvent knaa wot ya taaakin aboot, like.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 16 Oct 2008, 23:29, closed)

The one and only time I went to Southend
I ended up (through a convoluted series of events) standing on the seafront in ripped, creased trousers, covered in mud, glasses askew, sweating and with cuts and grazes down both arms.

I still felt overdressed.
( MatJ LOOK, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 0:56, closed)

4 different dads with the same christian name?
What are the odds?
(Helixdaunting, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 2:18, closed)

In saaaaafend
It's fairly high.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 17 Oct 2008, 8:50, closed)