McDonald's people
I'm vegetarian so I don't find myself in McDonalds very often.

I don't know if anyone remembers but they brought out a McQuorn Premiere or something similar a few years back. Being a fairly open minded chap, I thought I'd give one a go, so I head down to the local branch and order myself one.

I should point out I was still a student at the time, and I lived in Uxbridge... (just the word Uxbridge on it's own would have been an appropriate answer to this question).

Anyway, so I sit down to eat my burger (or should that be 'sandwich'?) and they've stuffed it full of lettuce, (probably because it's aimed at vegetarians and that's all we ever eat or something) and half of it falls out into the box.

At this point I've noticed a typical McDonalds Uxbridge patron sitting facing me. Her elephantine thighs spilling grotesquely over the edge of the chair while she shovels fistfuls of chips and burger meat into her spotty porcine face.

So I finish my McQuorn Premiere, and start eating the lettuce that fell out during the burger eating process. At this point I look up to see this Jabba the Hut woman staring at me in disgust as if I was smearing my face with human excrement.

She was actually incredulous that I was eating lettuce on its own.

At the risk of sounding like a complete snob, people like that should be hanged in the town squares with their own Burberry scarves.

We should melt down their 6 carat gold Lizzy Duke jewelery and make their children drink it.

I may have gone a bit far there, but you know what I mean.
( HoratioFellatio Taking the the out of psychotherapist, Sun 19 Oct 2008, 11:56, 5 replies)

I grew up in Uxbridge.
Your story is all too familiar.
( Smithlick is often seen at the bottom of threads, Sun 19 Oct 2008, 12:10, closed)

I actually lived in West Drayton in my second and third year
It made Uxbridge seem quite metropolitan and sophisticated.

I still remember walking down the high street wearing my suit just before my graduation and never feeling so out of place in all my life.
( HoratioFellatio Taking the the out of psychotherapist, Sun 19 Oct 2008, 12:14, closed)

Look on the bright side...
You could have been in Harrow.
(Martin1337 was trying and failing to be funny at, Sun 19 Oct 2008, 14:35, closed)

Have a click...
...for the comment "We should melt down their 6 carat gold Lizzy Duke jewelery and make their children drink it".

Absolutely fair in my opinion.
(nonstopdancer, Sun 19 Oct 2008, 15:24, closed)

oh, come on,
lettuce and salad...it's all we (vegetarians) eat, right?
argh.
(charlottebronte stalking through the moors, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 8:31, closed)