Golf!
I bought my ex tickets for the British Open in Kent quite a few years back, the same course as this years event.
Yes, I know...Golf. I don't play, but I do enjoy it though and it was quite exciting wandering around and seeing them up close, couldn't see what was happening on the course mind, but fun all the same. It was his special birthday after all.
On the final day, we were joined by a friend and on our walk about we spotted a circular cardboard badge lying on the grass.
'V.I.P pass' It was just a bit of card with some string attached so never in a million years thought it would get us in anywhere.
It bloody did.
If you have ever seen the golf, there is a big line of tents that stretch out along the 18th fairway. They belong to the hoi-polloi and sponsors doing their entertaining.
I braved it, slung the string onto a top button and in my flip-flops headed to the security check. They waved me through.
The bottom half of the tents were for the meals that they had on rotation for invite only people, all full on silver service and attentive dressed up staff, and what seemed like about 5 wine glasses to every place setting.
There were people mingling, lot's of men in chino's and women in little black expensive dressses and heels, and reeking of money.
I went up the stairs to the top half of the Rolex tent into the viewing lounge. Shitting myself incase anyone questioned why I was there.
It was empty...apart from huge comfy leather sofas, elaborate exotic flower displays probably worth more than my car, dozens of massive TV's and acres and acres of champagne flutes..all full to the brim with fizzy goodness.
Naturally I helped myself to one, assisted by the stunningly turned out handsome barman, watched from the balcony, then helped myself to another and another...it was so posh and ace I never wanted to leave.
THEN as I was reaching for another glass I felt an arm sling itself around me and a voice asking 'Are you having a good time? It's brilliant isn't it'
'yes *gulp* it's great' I whimpered.
He had an official Rolex badge on and I fair puked at the thought of him asking me 'So, who do you know then?'
He didn't, he stood on the balcony with me talking about the tournament while I tried to force down the last of my champagne past a throat that had closed up almost entirely about 5 minutes before.
It was then I made my leave.
I have never experienced corporate hospitality before, apart from a free lunch, and probably never will again.
God damn..it was good.
We swapped the pass after too, so we all got treated like royalty at least for ten minutes!
( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 22:55, 1 reply)

Ah, the sad decline of classical education
You don't really know what "hoi polloi" means, do you?
(ubergeekian, Sat 30 Jul 2011, 10:47, closed)