Following on from my London story
www.b3ta.com/questions/consumption/post1298833

The feeling like a fraud thing seems to follow me around. Im from a little town south of the tyne and always had a not really poor but never posh upbringing. I dont know if its a northern thing to cling on to your working-classness but i find that as i climb the social ladder my brain is still in my feet several rungs down.

Went to Newcastle races' Ladies Day last weekend. My missus paid £50 for the premier tickets and we got all smarted up, her in a lovely new dress and me in a brand spanking M&S suit. I always feel slightly strange in a suit, as im used to working in an engine room at 30-odd degrees in a sweaty boilersuit and covered in grime. Even after working in an office for 4 years I cant shake the feeling that im in the wrong attire.

Anyways my mam and dad were also there, but they were in the £250/head all you can eat seats. They managed to wangle us a couple of passes so we met them outside and joined them for a few free drinks. It was so sterile and nothing like the crazy, elbow to elbow madness we'd left behind.

Once again I had the feeling I stood out like a sore thumb and at any point security would escort me back to the herd. After the races finished we went back through to the corporate area and a huge fight booted off and some pissed southern (only knew cos of the accent) twat was carried off, his face a bloody mess. Apparently he'd been mouthing off all afternoon and i guess someone finally snapped.

Seemed a little strange that I only saw trouble in the fancy seats
(Monkeystrumpet monkey. Monkey, MONKEY!!!, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:27, 2 replies)

You probably get asked this all the time, but,
are you a trumpet belonging to a monkey, or a strumpet who also happens to be a monkey?
( Photoshop Bitch 2014 edition, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 11:41, closed)

its deliberately ambiguous
i like the idea of both
(Monkeystrumpet monkey. Monkey, MONKEY!!!, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 12:03, closed)