Staying in an outrageously expensive hotel for the first time in my life.
My girlfriend went out shopping, and got back to find me wallowing in the spa bath topped by more than a foot of bubbles, reading The Economist, whilst smoking a cigar and wearing a monocle*.

She looked at me with disbelief.
"What the hell are you doing?", she asked.
"This is what capitalism is all about", I replied.

^{*This is completely true.}
(davywavy, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:53, 8 replies)

where did you get a monocle?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 11:02, closed)

A proper capitalist never leaves the house without one.
(davywavy, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 11:03, closed)

in that case
why was your girlfriend looking at you in disbelief?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 11:08, closed)

She was surprised to learn that he could read.
(Just kidding Davy, I like the story)
(richardm, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:08, closed)

Possibly too close to the truth for comfort.

(davywavy, Sat 30 Jul 2011, 8:21, closed)

No top hat though?
Pffff. Petit bourgeois poser.
( Photoshop Bitch 2014 edition, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 11:36, closed)

I read that as
'petit pois poser'.
(bat_fudgie, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 20:44, closed)

this for the win

( zulu eh?, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 21:00, closed)