No Honda Accords here
My mother’s cousins did very well in life. Despite coming through a fairly poverty-ridden childhood, they ended up very, very rich. So great was their rise that Thatcher name-checked them in a speech in Parliament to illustrate what a good job she was doing. That kinda rich.

And now their kids, who are my age, are doing equally well.

One day last year, I get a phonecall from my mum. One of these “kids” (I have no idea what relation I actually am to them) had rung. They were heading up to Liverpool to watch the reds play Chelsea (they are all Liverpool fans) and had a spare ticket, so would I like to go?

Of course I would. I got their mobile number and rang them, asking where we should meet. They said my mum’s house, since they know where that is – normally they flew up and got a taxi to the ground, so didn’t know how to drive there.

So I’m sat in my mum’s, waiting for them to arrive and I can hear the sweet sound of an Italian V8 coming. I look outside and lo and behold, there is a Ferrari F430, containing two of my mum’s cousin’s kids.

They come in to have a brew and the conversation naturally turns to how we are going to get to the ground. Sam, who owned the Ferrari, said he wanted to drive down. I pointed out what they should already know, in that Anfield is a shithole and they should not leave a shiny, new Ferrari parked on the street there. He didn’t care, he wanted to head off as soon as the final whistle went, he had something important to do in London the next day. I tried to talk him out of it, to no avail.

So I hoped in my super-sleek, super-sexy, super-stylish… 12 year old Mondeo and drove to Anfield, being followed all the way by a bright red F430.

I parked where I normally park, outside my mate’s granddad’s house (just by the Cabbage Hall, for those who know the area) and the Ferrari was duly parked behind it. It drew a crowd, probably because everyone assumed “Ferrari? In Anfield? Must be a player”

The road we parked in is only about 10 terraced houses long and, as we moved through the disappointed crowd, Sam said, in a very loud voice, “Looking at those houses, I could probably buy the whole street for less than I paid for that car”

He was right.
(ScousersPet, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:52, 7 replies)

Now I'm just depressed that I'll (probably) never own Ferrari!
I was sure you were going to go on to say that the Ferrari got torn to shred by mad bastards shouting "scum" or some similar chant...
(impossibly witty twat No, YOUR Mum etc etc, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:16, closed)

Oh yeah...
... I meant to finish the story by pointing out that there wasn't a mark on it when we came back. I'm assuming because the locals assumed it bolonged to a local drug-dealer and were too scared to touch it.
(ScousersPet, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:26, closed)

I think people generally leave nice cars alone.
If you parked a top-of-the-range BMW, Mercedes, Audi or other expensive "normal" car there you'd probably get back to find a brick through the window and all four tires slashed -- but people seem to leave the more exclusive marques alone, for some reason.
I know a bloke who owns an Aston (DB7 I think) and he's parked in some pretty dodgy areas of Leeds, including post codes in the top of the car crime league, and the only thing people have done is say "Nice car, mate.".
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 17:29, closed)

is the cabbage still open?
i thought it had shut down. haven't been in there for about 10 years, or the clubmoor for that matter
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 19:33, closed)

Cabbage got mysteriously set on fire about a year ago last month...
... still not open yet, though there are rumours of a 'spoons.
( rjmrjm, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 23:07, closed)

A year ago?
My brother got the bus past it a month or so ago and it was on fire then.
(ScousersPet, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 12:52, closed)

oh fuck, no

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 13:50, closed)