The government encourages drinking and smoking because they make lots of money off it and also it kills off people younger which is then less of a drain on the state pension.
Or something, I dunno.
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 2 May 2013, 11:50, Reply)

One of our bass players (we went through them like Spinal Tap through drummers) believed that spiders
Had come down on a meteorite or something tens of thousands of years ago, and that as our less-evolved selves we'd witnessed it, and passed on a genetic memory of them being "other", which is why so many people have such a seemingly irrational fear of them.

We were doing MASSIVE drugs when we had this conversation and it's perfectly possible he was just musing, but it was still a nice idea, I thought.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 2 May 2013, 9:24, 3 replies)

I had an idea the other day that spooked me slightly
If aliens wanted to take over our planet, then using their supremely advanced weapons would be A) too easy, and B) likely to destroy everything valuable on the planet.

So instead it might make more sense from their point of view to infiltrate us and slowly change our way of thinking into their way of thinking. Not only conquering us, but conquering us with minimal fighting. Of course there would be those that resisted and those ones would have to be made an example of, but the majority would go along with it, many actively but most passively.

Let's say that if they wanted to do this, they would be better off doing it in a period before we got properly industrialised but after we had started to accept that there might be more to life than serving your feudal lord.

Perhaps they would find a continent unknown to the most developed parts of the world, form a colony there founded upon their principles and slowly (from our point of view) use that colony to take over the rest of the planet with carefully regimented propaganda, so that eventually everyone on the planet was singing their tune.
(Eukanuba, Thu 2 May 2013, 8:09, 13 replies)

Michael Jackson
I don't think he is dead. I am not a fan in any way, but there is all manner of weird shit around his death.
1 who books a venue for a month?
2 Who had a vested interest in 'disappearing' to make difficult legal issues vanish?
3 Who made a pile of cash since his death?
4 Who did his abusive parents get custody of his kids, not their 'mother'
5 Why did Michael's Brother announce his death, not a hospital person?
6 Why didn't Jackson's Doctor get tried for murder
7 Why did Jackson buy property in the middle east prior to his death, where he could dress in traditional female clothing which would completely disguise his every feature?
I could go on
(BigAndyBee, Wed 1 May 2013, 23:53, 17 replies)

Semen Patel

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 May 2013, 23:12, Reply)

Kelis's milkshake didn't bring all the boys to the yard.
Some boys were found later in the bikeshed. They were catatonic.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 1 May 2013, 23:02, Reply)

Controversial?
More like cunt-roversial, right?!?!?!

(It's funny because I did a swear.)
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 1 May 2013, 22:53, 3 replies)

I believe in Harvey Dent

(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Wed 1 May 2013, 22:36, Reply)

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 1 May 2013, 20:12, 7 replies)

Ringofyre is a likeable and sexually attractive man.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 1 May 2013, 19:46, 4 replies)

You are attractive and witty.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 1 May 2013, 19:36, 2 replies)

Daytime TV
I believe that daytime TV is a government conspiracy.

Remember the last time you were off work, genuinely sick? After a day or two, when you started to feel human again, you suddenly realised that you were watching Jeremy Kyle and Cash In The Attic, and decided that you were well enough to go to work the next day.

The only explanation for daytime TV is that it's carefully designed to force sick people back to work. There's no other way it could be that bad.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Wed 1 May 2013, 19:26, 4 replies)

I believe today is Thursday
and that therefore this shitbiscuit of a question should be replaced, quick smart.

what's YOUR favourite smell?
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Wed 1 May 2013, 16:10, 16 replies)

I think he should stay.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 1 May 2013, 16:03, Reply)

I think he should go.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 1 May 2013, 15:13, 4 replies)

Haircut 100
I have a friend in Austria, a highly intelligent, articulate woman, well travelled and with a sophisticated, educated mind. Despite all this, she will only get her hair cut at certain phases of the moon. This isn't some new-age hippy bollocks; firstly she's no hippy, and secondly she tells me that "everybody in Austria knows that it's true".

Apparently it derives from the ancient belief that crops grow better if planted at certain times of the lunar month. I guess that that's just about credible, but I can't see that hair would behave like a seed!
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Wed 1 May 2013, 14:02, 6 replies)

I think oranges ARE the only fruit.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 1 May 2013, 14:00, 18 replies)