cheeky fucker!
woken up one morning by the phone ringing. it was a cold-caller, trying to sell me double glazing or some such bollocks.
"hello" i says to him.
"my name is john, i represent reallyshitcompany" says he.
"yes, could you tell me what it is you want?" i asks.
"could i speak to the lady of the house, sir?" he asks.
now, i may sound a bit husky first thing in the morning, but i'm not that manly!
conversation was duly killed as i replied "i AM the lady of the house!" before hanging up on him.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:24, 19 replies)

Yeah whatevah bruv.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:32, closed)

not every woman who won't shag you is a man in disguise

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:35, closed)

No, but all the women that will are.

( number5 has been fighting tramps and losing., Mon 16 May 2011, 16:38, closed)

:D

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:44, closed)

Hahahahaha
Your dad likes to be called Patricia.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:45, closed)

Yes they are.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:45, closed)

i'm not falling for your reverse psychology

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:49, closed)

Sounds like my mate's sister.
She's always being asked by cold-callers if her parents are home -- she's middle aged (She does live alone, for the pedants.). Well, that or door-to-door windowlickers ask if her husband is in.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Mon 16 May 2011, 17:28, closed)

The correct response is
Yes, I'll just get her

Then leave the fucker hanging
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Mon 16 May 2011, 17:31, closed)

i'll have to do that next time

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 16 May 2011, 17:39, closed)

Why did he have to speak to the lady of the house? Is it only ladies who know about double-glazing?
I MUST KNOW
(Bababoon, Mon 16 May 2011, 18:56, closed)

i have no idea
maybe he thought he was so suave that he could talk any woman into buying his windows
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 16 May 2011, 19:11, closed)

Are you a lady?
( flake has nothing against your right leg, Mon 16 May 2011, 21:47, closed)

well, i'm female

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 16 May 2011, 21:56, closed)

I get that, but in reverse,
so I am often mistaken for my own mother, or my wife.

Still, I suppose it will make minor identity fraud that little bit simpler.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 17 May 2011, 9:36, closed)

I'll try to remember to read all your posts in a Brian Blessed voice from now on.

(TitanLX, Tue 17 May 2011, 9:43, closed)

i insist that you do so

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 17 May 2011, 16:20, closed)

With a company name like that
I'm not surprised they don't do very well
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Tue 17 May 2011, 9:44, closed)

Excellent!
(BeatsWork, Thu 19 May 2011, 5:09, closed)