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This is a question The B3ta Cookbook

We're bored of beans on toast. Pretend you're on Pinterest and share your cooking tips and recipes. Can't cook? Don't let that stop you telling us about the disastrous shit you've made.

(, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:56)
Pages: Popular, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1

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I worked as a chef and I'm a wop so listen closely.
here's how you make a lasagne, wop style.
hard boil some eggs and fry some salsicce, that's italian sausages to you. put them aside for later, okay?
then make a bechamel, if you don't know how to do that, fuck off right now. christ.
melt some butter in a pan, put in some flour then slowly stir in some milk. it'll then be all thick, like you. add some nutmeg and a bay leaf.
then make a sugo, with mince. THAT'S A SAUCE NUMBNUTS. if you put vegetables in it, so help me I'll pour it down your pants and punch your cock off. fucking hell, FINE.
put some garlic in a pan with oil DON'T BURN IT. chuck in some mince and brown it, add nutmeg, salt, pepper and dried basil. anyone who whines about using fresh basil can suck my shit. put in some wine and reduce the fucker, like right down. until it looks like a shitty period. add in some passata and simmer the bitch, punt in some more nutmeg, salt, pepper and dried fucking basil.
still with me? wankers.
get some pasta sheets, don't need to be fresh. if you have a problem with that, I'll fucking dry you, pricks. just refresh the fuck out of them in warm water with a bit of oil in it SO THEY DON'T FUCKING STICK TOGETHER.
now layer the bitch up in a dish. remember the eggs and sausage? no, you probably don't. READ THE TOP FFS. one layer should have sliced egg and one should have salsicce. on the top put fuckloads of motzzarella and parmesan then cook the fucking thing.
when it's ready, eat it. with your bare hands for all I fucking care. I dunno have a salad or chips or a pie or whatever the fuck you cunts want with it.

weights and temperature? go fuck yourselves.

(, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 9:31, 9 replies)
This aggression thing doesn't work.
Just looks, er, aggressive.

I'm sure it's a good recipe though.
(, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 9:35, closed)
yeah, gordon ramsay is a cunt.

(, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 9:36, closed)
This is a top recipe.

(, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 10:12, closed)
We have a winner.

(, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 10:16, closed)
^What Tubby said^

(, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 10:57, closed)
word for word, this is how mama told me to make it.

(, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 11:04, closed)
I've got fresh basil growing everywhere
it's taking over the whole garden, and now I have to buy *dried*?
(, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 11:54, closed)
dry some of it then.
(, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 11:55, closed)
Dolmio for the win!

(, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 11:55, closed)

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Pages: Popular, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1