Cuttings from my three-page complaints letter to Apple
"I was told by a member of staff, politely enough, that I would have to make an appointment at the Genius Bar. As it was lunchtime, on a day I’d booked off, I asked if he would make me an appointment for later in the day, if one were available. He told me that he could not as it wasn’t a service they offered and, anyway, you cannot book them on the same day even if you do it from home.

I was forced to walk over to a Macbook of some sort and, via your website, book an appointment in front of his very eyes for approximately fifty minutes later."

And my favourite bit:

"explained it. He went away to test it. In the mean time, having to wait another twenty minutes between my appointment and being seen, I was stood near a staff member and customer with a conundrum.

The customer wanted £40 of iTunes vouchers for one gift and £60 for another. The staff member replied that they “only did £15 and £25 vouchers” so they couldn’t really do those amounts.

After three minutes of backing and forthing, I felt that I had to intervene and explain that, in fact, £15 and £25 added up to £40 and four £15 vouchers was, wonderfully, £60. The staff member asked me to explain again, slowly, before going off to process this for the customer.

I realise this isn’t really part of my complaint but doesn’t it make you despair somewhat?"
(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 12:21, 9 replies)

Yeah, but they
wear really cool teeshirts, so you lost miserably.
(username failed moderation, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 12:31, closed)

Damn your eyes
I was about to post more-or-less the same thing.
(ubergeekian, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 12:49, closed)

Bloody customers, always undermining the experts

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 12:36, closed)

I would guess...
...the difference between these guys and the ones that work in PC World is about 0.005% of an I.Q. point (and that's probably accounted for by the bacteria in their t-shirts).
(minimalist ..., Mon 27 Feb 2012, 12:37, closed)

I'm pretty sure
the tech depatment in PC world have somewhat more bacteria laden shirts than those in the Apple store.

It's the frameless glasses that make up the difference.
(username failed moderation, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 12:39, closed)

The only apple store employee I know is a nauseating failed graphic designer. I hope the others aren't like that because otherwise they've set an impressively low bar.
(skgorsky, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 13:29, closed)

When I took an iPod in
that had stopped working, the first girl I spoke to told me 'it is probably a counterfeit Chinese knock-off or something'. I went to the techie guys and they sorted it out and told me 'Yeah - she always thinks that.'

Crazy conspiracy theorist Apple shop person...
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 13:34, closed)

I laughed but will now never set foot in an Apple store!
(Bergamot B , has not been to the office since, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 22:21, closed)

If
If Apple have managed to recruit people of such a high standard is it any wonder that some staff refer to this acronym for apple acolytes, CUNTS.

customer understands new technologies
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 14:55, closed)

It's a pretty poor acronym.
It appears to be a rather poorly reverse engineered attempt to call their customers cunts.

Scores about 2/10.
(username failed moderation, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 15:15, closed)

Yeah,
nothing quite so cuntish as purchasing a new product, and understanding it. The nerve of some people.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 16:01, closed)