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This is a question Corporate Idiocy

Comedian Al Murray recounts a run-in with industrial-scale stupidity: "Car insurance company rang, without having sent me a renewal letter, asking for money. Made them answer security questions." In the same vein, tell us your stories about pointless paperwork and corporate quarter-wits

(, Thu 23 Feb 2012, 12:13)
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Want to borrow some money, sir?
A few years back I was having a pretty tough time - not as tough as some (I'm always aware that my troubles are not the worst in the world), but still pretty poo. I'd separated from my fiancee and she had moved back in with her folks leaving me struggling with the bills etc for the large flat we had bought together. We were in the process of selling the flat so there was light at the end of the tunnel, but cash was seriously fucking tight for me at the time - walking 3 miles to work and 3 miles back whatever the weather because I couldn't afford to catch a bus, eating only Tesco Value food, never going out or seeing friends - hell, even feigning injuries towards the end of the month to avoid paying £4 or £5 to play football because I didn't want my friends to know how skint I was. Even though the flat was on the market, it could have been months until it was sold and I was already at financial breaking point - I couldn't slip any more into debt.

And then, one glorious sunny sunday afternoon, the phone rang. It was the AA financial services. One of my 'debts' that I was servicing was a £200 a month loan repayment, which I had taken out to do up the flat. The shiny, happy person at the AA had called me to ask if I would like to extend the loan amount at all?

HALLELUJAH!

Trying not to spaff in my pants at the prospect, I talked through my options with lovely, lovely lady on the phone. I could basically borrow a couple of grand more, increase my outgoing by only £20 a month AND you get a three month holiday at the start of the loan so I'd be freeing up £600 over the next three months IMMEDIATELY. I'm no mug - I was aware I was increasing my debt but over the dismal nature of the short term, it was an absolute god send - I could actually do something crazy like order a takeaway or GO FOR A PINT. And once I sold the flat and downsized I could either pay off the loan or manage the repayments easier - the choice would be mine.

I'm sure other people here have had worse money problems, but they are always horrible. I had been surviving like this for months - nothing to look forward to, no little luxuries, desperately eking out around £60 disposable income per month to keep myself going. all in the immediate aftermath of a breakup which is hard enough to deal with mentally anyway. It really was grim, a horrid time, a shadow hanging over me the whole time.

But not today! Today I was going to have some extra money in my pocket, a bounce in my step for the first time, the security that I had at least a little extra behind me to lighten my load. A-MAZ-ING.

My reverie was interrupted by the phone centre lady. "I'm terribly sorry sir, but you've failed our credit check and we will be unable to offer you an extension on your loan.'

YOU FUCKING PHONED ME TO OFFER ME SOMETHING YOU WEREN'T ALLOWED TO GIVE ME?

I took it like a man - hung up, cried, then blew my last tenner on three bottles of wine and went without food for three days.

All better now, in case you are wondering. But I'll never forgive the fuckers for raising my hopes when I was at such a low ebb, only to shatter them in the next breath. Bastards.
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 10:59, 12 replies)
You get a click for the misery
Don't remember ever being in that bad a situation, but glad to hear you got it sorted.
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 11:05, closed)
It sounds to me that your Ex wasnt being fair
I hope you took a larger split of the money off the sale of the flat.
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 11:40, closed)
^
This.
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:32, closed)
Have an empathy click ;)

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 11:41, closed)
And from me too

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 12:18, closed)
Me 3.

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 13:56, closed)
I think you have disposable and discretionary income mixed up.
There's no way you only had £60 disposable income.
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 13:02, closed)

quite possibly - i dunno the difference. After I had paid mortgage, bills, credit cards and loan repayment, I had £60 left. That was to cover all expenses that were basically not direct debits that would leave my account the day after I was paid. Like I said: it was grim.
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 15:03, closed)
Yah, a lot of people do it.
I only discovered a couple of months ago that disposable income is your net pay, discretionary income is what you have left after bills, rent, basic food stuffs ect.
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 16:02, closed)
you might find they've charged you for the credit check, too...
in that lovely way banks have of extorting money from the hard up.
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 13:03, closed)
Pwned.

(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 15:24, closed)
Have a
click from me
(, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 15:45, closed)

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