two friends of mine
the ubiquitous sam and another girl, ginger, were travelling around the world after uni. they had the usual shit with bed bugs in america; concrete sheets for beds in electricity free cabins in india; guinea pig for dinner in columbia and spat at for being blonde in argentina. but when they got to bolivia, the hostel was the most horrendous thing they had ever seen.

to make matters worse, sam fell really ill with what turned out to be parasites. from the guinea pig. she was in so much pain that she actually thought she was dying.

after 2 weeks of vomiting and worse, she had lost pounds of weight and was very shaky on her feet. nonetheless, she felt the need to celebrate being alive after all, and went out and got truly hammered on the first night she could. which took about 1 shot in her newly scrawny state.

she woke up the next morning to see that the room was even worse than before - the sink had fallen off the wall, making a huge hole in the floor, and everything was inches deep in brown water. oh, and ginger was scowling at her. then she realised her pants were also swimming in a different sort of brown water.

apparently she had staggered in, fallen over the sink, knocked it off the wall, and promptly shat herself. she had no choice but to squeal and handwash her trousers, stuffing them, still damp, into the top section of her rucksack. then they legged it for the bus before the hostel found out.

when they got to the next town, some thieving pikey had whipped the trousers out of the top of the rucksack. oh how sam wished she hadn't washed them.

two days later she had her bag stolen. they trekked to the police station to report it, only to find an aussie girl sobbing on the steps. turned out she had also been raped of her bag, but when she had told a nearby policeman and pointed out the fleeing thief, he had simply raised his gun, squinted, and shot the bastard on the spot....

i'd love to go, but for some reason my friends think i wouldn't handle the rougher side of travelling very well. so long as i can plug in my GHDs and the hotel has satin sheets, what's the problem?!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Jan 2008, 22:04, 7 replies)

Woo!
Another Sam story from rachelswipe. Always a winner.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 23 Jan 2008, 9:05, closed)

I love guinea pig
I even threatened to barbecue the neighbours'.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Wed 23 Jan 2008, 9:21, closed)

Eh!
How did she handwash her trousers if the sink was off the wall?

I feel this needs clarifying.
( girlinthehole, Wed 23 Jan 2008, 9:55, closed)

This has everything
Squalor, guinea pigs, violence. Oh, and shit - a prerequisite in any rachelswipe tale. Jolly good show!
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 23 Jan 2008, 10:03, closed)

Poor Sam
She seems utterly hapless...

However, the classic rachelswipe elements of Sam, poo, cringeworthiness and soiled trousers.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 23 Jan 2008, 10:06, closed)

to be fair
she'd eaten nothing for 2 weeks. i doubt it technically qualifies as a true shit story.

she washed the trousers in the showers, apparently.

she was so mad about them being nicked. still is, about 6 years later.

i really wish i could exhibit sam to you all. you kind of have to know her to really get how mental she really is. not in a loud, crazy way, just in a brain wired up the wrong way kind of fashion.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 23 Jan 2008, 12:15, closed)

Handwashing
I once tried to handwash a shirt in the shower. I was wearing it at the time.

Soaking wet clothes are extremely uncomfortable. I have no idea why I thought this would be a good idea, other than perhaps the folly of youth.

The experiment was ultimately unsuccessful. I learned from this experience.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 23 Jan 2008, 14:10, closed)