Aviation Crunch
I've just finished my training as an Air Traffic Controller. My salary has trebled. Because Joe Public is skint there are fewer planes in the sky meaning I'm being paid more to do less. Because there are fewer planes in the sky when I'm at work I get more breaks meaning I can spend more time on B3ta or looking in the mirror and prodding my abs. Because there are fewer planes in the sky I get more late starts and early finishes, but still get paid for full shifts meaning I have more time to go into shops and spend my over inflated salary on piles of unnecessary clothes and electronic tat which has now been discounted in order to save the jobs of thousands of office monkeys and name-badge+clip-on tie wearing high street retail fuds who if only had listened to their collective mothers more and stuck in a little harder at school, they wouldnt now be catching soul destroying glimpses of themselves in the reflection of the telly after wanking into a sock at half eleven in the morning and then going in for the afternoon back shift at the bakery in Asda
(Don't tell him Pike i'll probably just stay in, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 11:39, 10 replies)

Less fewer planes.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 12:17, closed)

Only you

( Bazongaloid, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 12:58, closed)

No, me too
.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 13:21, closed)

That is the problem with self-satisfied rants
your spelling, punctuation and grammar have to be spot on.
( monkeybananaraffle, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 13:45, closed)

meh
At least I could spoke right when I was a children
(Don't tell him Pike i'll probably just stay in, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 14:37, closed)

And me
.
(EuroSong I love horse meat: best of all the animals, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 14:50, closed)

wall of text!
tl;dr
(kebabking - salad and garlic mayo pls, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 15:04, closed)

Apologies
First Post. I promise in time they will improve in both amusing content and grammar. Oh and that they'll also be less, you know......cunty
(Don't tell him Pike i'll probably just stay in, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 21:15, closed)

Now that's a good post!
Good sense of the "in one breath" smugness..

You don't eat a croissant and read the paper on a balcony before your shift, do you?

(Looks into becoming an air-traffic controller)
(AndyC4m Eject Eject [><], Tue 27 Jan 2009, 15:33, closed)

i wish
i could prode my abs.

I can rubb my tits tho.
(TheColonel, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 23:00, closed)