The unit I work in deals with quite a lot of sensitive and confidential information.
As such, we have huge metal filing cabinets, which have shelving units inside that rotate.

To rotate them, you must release them with a foot pedal. It's a very basic mechanism, and often jams a bit, requiring a few tries. As such they clank quite a bit.

My unit used to sit next to these cabinets, and one day a guy came along to use one. This guy is a stereotypical nerd. He's in his late 40s/early 50s, really fancies himself as "intelligent" and does, as he pronounces it, "kahrahtay". I honestly wouldn't be surprised if he's a virgin.

He pushed the foot pedal and got no response, and kept trying, resulting in quite a bit of noise.

Ever jocular, my boss said to him, "Oh Steve, are you breaking the cabinet again?"

"I DIDN'T TOUCH HER!" was the immediate, forceful response.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 14:26, 5 replies)

"I like this" doesn't do justice to how hilarious and disturbing this is.

(TheColonel, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 15:13, closed)

Haha - why thank you.
He still works here, so clearly nothing's been discovered to date.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 15:57, closed)

Or money is changing hands behind the scenes.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 21:27, closed)

Wonderful.
Like many of the best answers, I don't care if it's true or just a half-remembered scene from an Alan Partridge episode which has crept into the "my life" memory banks. Well written and gives a good, hearty laugh.
(SlantedScience, Fri 8 Apr 2011, 1:15, closed)

It's entirely true, I assure you.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 8 Apr 2011, 9:40, closed)