Tapeworms
Bastard things freak me out, I had to disect one at school, from a dog - it was huge. It's the thought of when they die you are required to pull the remnants out of your arse. I just googled the fuckers but only got so far before getting a bit vomity.

EDIT - I just had to do it, regretting it mightily.

Fuck me backwards - www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/24078/

Not good, NSFW as it's icky.
(wimbley is feeling hungover, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 22:55, 8 replies)

if they freak you out
don't google candiru fish....
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 23:16, closed)

are those the ones who swim into your dick?

(wimbley is feeling hungover, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 23:22, closed)

those are the buggers

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 23:25, closed)

them bastards have spines
so you can't pull them out..
(wimbley is feeling hungover, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 23:31, closed)

then they die up there
and your cock turns septic. if you're lucky, they can cut it off without killing you.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 23:33, closed)

I used to work at a research institute that had worms from all over the world sent to it
It wasn't the individual big worms that made me go ooky, it was the huge tangled bundles that had been removed from some poor, probably dead, person. These people were literally more worm than human, a skin bag subsumed by nematodes.

Night night, sleep tight.
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Mon 11 Apr 2011, 23:34, closed)

Arghhh
Cheers, no sleep for me tonight..
(wimbley is feeling hungover, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 23:38, closed)

anyone else fancy a carbonara?

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 23:42, closed)

Couldnt you buy them at some point?
To aid weight loss?
A rumour went round my school that some poor sod pulled one out of the back of his pants in the dining room, but thats probably an urban myth.
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Tue 12 Apr 2011, 0:29, closed)

Yes, I've read that you could send off for tapeworm eggs in the 1920s to help you lose weight.
You'd also receive a remedy to take after a week to kill it off. Some people apparently didn't bother with that bit and there are stories of elderly ladies being admitted to nursing homes in the 1960s and 70s still with 'therapeutic' tapeworms.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Tue 12 Apr 2011, 7:14, closed)

My granny
My granny lived in 'the olden days' and got a tapeworm. The treatment - according to her at least - was to get her sloshed on port and lemon and then issue something which killed the worm and, erm, flushed it out of her. I suppose getting her pissed was to relax her. She said that she could never touch port and lemon again because of the bad memories it brought back.
(Smale is stuffed, Tue 12 Apr 2011, 8:44, closed)

There's always the apple and doughnut method

( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Tue 12 Apr 2011, 9:42, closed)

The version I heard had 3 boiled eggs, 3 Mars Bars and a mallet.

(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 11:08, closed)

I don't think that's a tapeworm in the vid...
it looks like the sac that encloses a cyst being pulled out....
A tapewom lives in the gut so unless that guy has a hole in his intestines to the outside world it's unlikely to be a tapeworm.
( Sallyrsm, Tue 12 Apr 2011, 18:07, closed)