oh god oh god oh god
from the ages of 13 - 18 i was in LOVE with my history teacher. an odd choice for a teenage crush, as he was nice looking and very funny, but in his 30s with dodgy clothes and a bald patch.

anyway, the entire school knew about it, and he knew about it, and it kept coming up in horrendous situations. for instance, the time the entire bus was singing "rachelswipe and mr x sitting in a tree" for what felt like the ENTIRE way to wales. or when he was asked by my so-called friends to pose for topless photos for me on a school trip (that i wasn't even on!). or when the arch bitch who taught me latin rang my father to tell him it was distracting me from my latin (wtf?! sneaking out at lunchtime for boozing and fags distracted me from latin, not to mention its unutterable dullness. no wonder they all died. did she think i sat there, chin in hand, making googly eyes at the trees and dreaming about him?!) and i should be moved into a different history set. i will never forget the soul searing embarrassment of being bollocked for poor attention in latin and then leaving the room to hear my dad say to my mum: "and what about this history teacher she thinks she's courting".....

it was 5 years of butterflies, swooning and scarlet faced cringing.

anyway, he totally formed the kind of man i find attractive now and although it was just a crush i'm too old and cynical now to feel like that again - that pure undiluted excitement of lusting after someone so perfect and unattainable was quite nice in a way. so i smile about him very occasionally (like once a year).

then, a couple of weeks ago, and ten years after leaving school, i idly googled him, not expecting to find anything.

and there he was... or a message in the guestbook from him anyway... gracing the pages of... A BLOODY GAY SWIM MEET!!! FOR GOD'S SAKE!!!!!!!!!!! how much was i the butt (see what i did there) of the staffroom jokes. bah!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 2 Oct 2006, 11:30, Reply)