Another thing that annoys me about pub customers...
When the pub is busy and you're waiting to be served, DO NOT wave money at me.

I AM NOT A FUCKING STRIPPER

I know who is next in line, all you're doing by trying to jump the queue is getting yourself put at the very end of it
(SarcasticBarSteward wants to be good at Photoshop when he grows up, Fri 5 Sep 2008, 12:40, 16 replies)

and always a joy
when they have learnt your name so they can shout at you too!
(cmouse is pondering about life in other jobs, Fri 5 Sep 2008, 13:02, closed)

heehee
I used to just take the money off them, pop it in my shirt pocket, then serve the next person.

Leave them to sweat for a bit, hand it back and say, "oh sorry, I thought it was a tip"

Cue all the surrounding bill wavers sheepishly removing their wanker-flags from my line of vision.
( admiral crunch holds the newsreader's nose squarely, Fri 5 Sep 2008, 13:04, closed)

I find tipping the bar staff does wonders for getting served-ery

I'm SURE the ex-bar staff here will agree!
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 5 Sep 2008, 13:27, closed)

bah
I never got tipped when I was bar staff, despite it being a busy small village pub where I was on good terms with every single local.

inbred, drink-driving cuntstains
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 5 Sep 2008, 13:30, closed)

ooooh
'Wanker flags' is most definitely getting used at work within the next 4.5 hours
(SarcasticBarSteward wants to be good at Photoshop when he grows up, Fri 5 Sep 2008, 13:35, closed)

?
Whatever happened to service with a smile?

They are paying you after all. Do you think we are all having a great time waiting for you to serve us?
(Spokes, Fri 5 Sep 2008, 13:54, closed)

If you genuinely know who is next in the queue...
...then you're the first barperson I've met in my entire life who does.
Otherwise we wouldn't need to do the cash-waving thing, would we? Us people at the bar would rather not have to, you know.
(davywavy, Fri 5 Sep 2008, 14:46, closed)

Eye contact
No one likes some fucker staring at you. When I want to get served quick I stare at the Barman, I stare through his head, every time he so much as looks at me I'm looking at him.

It doesn't take long to jump the que.

I learned this working on the other side of the bar.
(Doogie Talons, Fri 5 Sep 2008, 14:57, closed)

Actually, most bars I've been in
you need to have some money in-hand (not necessarily waving it about, but on-show) to distinguish yourself from the inbred, brailess cockstains who lean on a busy bar chatting when they already have a drink held below the level of the bar.

FUCK OFF! It's busy, go somewhere else in this huge bar and get out the way of the ONLY serving point.
( Mockingbird Practitioner of SCIENCE, Fri 5 Sep 2008, 15:28, closed)

Theres a difference
between holding some money politely in your hand and waving it in my face.

Ans to whoever said "yeah but the customers are the ones paying you" thats bollocks. I make the same paltry amount whether I take £3000 or £300, so that £50 some dickhead is shoving in my face means nothing to me, in fact Im less likely to serve him because he's a flash cunt.

Also to whoever said "barmen don't know who theyre serving next"- we do. I have four piles in my head

1. Only just got here- not important

2. Been waiting too long, serve them next

3. People who shouted "oi!", whistled, waved money, tapped money on the bar, banged on the bar, muttered "for fucks sake" when someone else got served. These people go straight to the bottom of the queue and I only serve them if there is noone else to serve.

4. Pretty girls and my mates, they get served first even if they've just walked to the bar and there's 30 people who've been waiting half an hour.
( KernKraft Gosh, there isn't much noise outside today, Sat 6 Sep 2008, 13:07, closed)

If the person next to me was there first
...and the barman approaches, I always point to them as next. That way I get served straight after them even if the person on the other side of me was also there first.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 6 Sep 2008, 15:47, closed)

*sigh*
Davywavy and Spokes...if you are the kind of customers that your nippy little replies imply that you are then I'd suggest that the reason you may be waiting a long time at the bar is obvious to anyone who's worked in the trade.
(The_Bishop begged for death on, Sat 6 Sep 2008, 16:41, closed)

Hmmm
I never wave money, hell I feel bad making eye contact. Sad thing is, I get served later than the people who wave money because I stand and wait patiently and hope that the barkeep has taken note of when I arrived at the bar and therefore when I should be served.

TLIC - I've done that before but the barman bypassed me cos of some git leaning practically over the bar waving money.

Is there some sort of etiquette for getting yourself noticed in the queue, but politely?
( El Lazarus is calm now, Ish,, Sun 7 Sep 2008, 21:56, closed)

Barpersons! When you are in a bar...
How do you get served? I'm extremely polite to anyone serving me and I still get ignored in favour of ruder people.
"I know who is next in line". Yeah, okay. Not all bar staff do, though.
(meat2veg hello!, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 23:33, closed)

Another thing that annoys me about pub customers...
"I know who is next in line".

So you don't work in a Wetherspoon's then? Thick fuckers in there seem to have a system whereby the next person to get served is whoever appears in their field of vision first.

I'm sorry to say that I've had to resort to money waving, staring, shouting out "excuse me!" and any other tactic which gets the docile twats to start doing their job properly.

Hrumph.
(Ravenhill, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 21:26, closed)

@Ravenhill
Then it's your own stupid fault for drinking in Wetherspoons
(SarcasticBarSteward wants to be good at Photoshop when he grows up, Thu 11 Sep 2008, 1:19, closed)