Can't think of a snappy title ...
.
without using the word "breast".

When my eldest was a tiny baby, I couldn't get used to being cooped up in the house. So I used to load up the changing bag (read: big rucksack) with about two stones of stuff, pop her in the sling (cuddled against my front) and set off into town.

One day, when she was about a month old, I was at the Pharmacy counter in Boots waiting for a prescription, when she started getting a bit grunty and squirmy. I grabbed the little bottle of expressed breast milk I always carried for such eventualities and offered her a drink. She settled back down, guzzling away happily. An old couple were sitting on the chairs that every Pharmacy counter seems to have, watching with interest. The old boy pipes up with,

"Aye, that's done it. A wee feed was all the bairn needed." His bewhiskered beloved shot him a look and announced,

"I think that's awfy. A wee bairn like that being bottle fed. They should be at the breast until they can walk."

I (rather foolishly, with hindsight) informed my audience that the baby was being fed my own milk, and expected that to be the end of the matter. But no. The old fellow proclaims, loudly,

"Well! That's disgusting that is. Breast feeding that bairn in the middle of a shop. And in Boots as weel (as if the name of the shop mattered a jot!)."

The Pharmacist had come out of his cubby hole to investigate, and the old man demanded that I be put out of the shop immediately. The poor Pharmacist was completely at a loss as to why, seeing before him nothing more than a young mother holding a bottle of milk to her infant's mouth. Angry old man then says,

"Look, she's breastfeeding that bairn in the middle of your shop. Make her stop." The Pharmacist's confused response of,

"But, sir, the baby's being bottle fed," did nothing to calm down the by now irate old fool. He informed everyone who was listening that feeding a baby breast milk, even from a bottle, means it's being breast fed. Which should, according to him, be against the law in public. And in Boots. Deciding (for once) not to get into a slanging match, I picked up my prescription and left without saying a word. As I walked away, I could hear the Pharmacist attempting to explain that the definition of breast feeding in public does not usually include expressed milk from a bottle. I remember thinking "good luck, mate".

When I met up with some old workmates for lunch and related my adventures, they were in hysterics. I could (almost) understand his objection if I'd whipped out a boob in the middle of the shop, but it was a bottle!

On a side note, the first time I took my tiny Witchlet out in the sling, I came back full of how wonderful this thing was. I was telling MrWitch that she'd spent the last two hours snuggled into my chest, without complaining at all. His opinion?

"Neither would I"
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Tue 9 Sep 2008, 18:18, 7 replies)

I'd have got my boob out and squirted the old man right in the mush with some milk.
.
( girlinthehole, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 19:41, closed)

I would have
told him that it was far more obscene to stink of wee and given him a Paddington Bear stare.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 9 Sep 2008, 20:02, closed)

I would have
flicked him with dried up man milk from my hair.
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 20:30, closed)

I would have
wet myself.

That's how I usually express hostility anyway.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 22:26, closed)

Click
Because it is the best breastfeeding story I think I've ever heard.
(Clarabelle is reverting to type on, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 0:26, closed)

Haha
Quality.

Where we would we be without stupid old men?
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 10:59, closed)

That is superb
But once again, I cannot get my head around the fact that people have a problem with people breastfeeding in public places. It's not like they are forcing you to suck on their nipples.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 11:59, closed)