My dad died just over 5 years ago.
It was obviously very sad, he'd had cancer and been suffering a lot, so in the end it was a relief to know he'd not have the pain anymore.

Over the years I've found myself becoming ever-more like him, though I know I'll never be able to be quite so.. unique.

He could roll a joint that could knock out an elephant, and disarm people with spontaneous wit the likes of which I have rarely heard.

Thanks to him I have an amazing music collection comprised of all his old records, some amazing handmade vintage speakers, and come the onset of the internet, a collection of downloads to rival iTunes..

He always had an air of unspoken mystery about him, even now I feel that I'd barely even cracked the surface with him.
It's without a doubt the biggest shame I can think of, I'd do anything for another 5 minutes with him, just to get his insight.

Out of all of the weird things I've seen with my family, there was one event that really summed him up for me.

We were at a friends house, and one person there was, for lack of a better description, pretty fucking fat.

Now, this friend was complaining about said cake-fuelled predicament, and friends were cooing about her, plenty of "no, you're just cuddly" and "big-boned" and all that.

In walks my dad, freshly-rolled joint in mouth, at which point fat friend turns round and asks:

"H, do you think I'm fat?"

And lo, whilst sparking up and without missing a beat:

"God yes, you're fucking enormous. If I were you I'd be ashamed to go out in public. I don't know how you have the nerve, myself."

Utterly level-voiced, and without malice, but staunchly honest.
Fat friend is shocked as you may imagine, and everyone is open-mouthed in horror. My mum quickly whisked him to the kitchen..

"What the fuck did you say that for?"
"She asked me, I wasn't gonna lie, was I?"
"Well, couldn't you have been, a little bit more diplomatic about it?"
"Oh so what, lie?"
"No, but maybe soften it a bit?"
"Oh what, sugar-coated lie? She'll fucking eat that too."

Legend.
(Irregular Joe last touched ham on, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 13:22, 7 replies)

"I like this"
doesn't cover it. awesome.
(gr33npeace, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 13:36, closed)

excellent

( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 14:03, closed)

Sugar Coated Lie..
Love it
*click*
(danniekavanagh did nothing constructive on, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 13:37, closed)

exactly!

(whiskas loved by 8 out of 10 cats, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 16:43, closed)

Absolutely bloody incredible. This for the win.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 13:41, closed)

Why isn't there
a 'Laughing like a loon' button for posts like this?
( Funkenschlag still likes dogs more than cats, Sun 28 Nov 2010, 11:43, closed)

Hah, thankyou all!
He was quite a chap, as it goes my mum just found and gave me an old leather flight jacket of his, it's damn warm, I just ran around in the snow and everything..
(Irregular Joe last touched ham on, Tue 30 Nov 2010, 16:01, closed)