I used to love that place
It's a fancy French restaurant now. I was driving and vegetarian and all they do is a toasted cheese sandwich for veggies. my friends had oysters and steak tartare and 2 bottles of red. Then we split the bill evenly (that might sound stupid but with friends you see regularly these things even out I reckon, and who wants to be the cunt fishing out a calculator? Not me). Most. Expensive. Cheese. Sandwich. Ever.

and they both got noro from the oysters. What do you expect, those things feed on shit.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 9 Sep 2014, 21:43, 4 replies)

For the record, I am not a broker

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 9 Sep 2014, 21:43, closed)

You paid extra for a noro-free sandwich.

( .Yeti., Tue 9 Sep 2014, 21:53, closed)

And a good fingering.

( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Tue 9 Sep 2014, 21:54, closed)

And some Vanish strain remover.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 9 Sep 2014, 22:01, closed)

Hullo, French polishers?
It's just possible you could save my life.
( .Yeti., Tue 9 Sep 2014, 22:03, closed)

still one of the greatest adverts and worst haircuts in television history

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 9 Sep 2014, 22:06, closed)

An entire movie in about 40 seconds
Brilliant!
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Wed 10 Sep 2014, 13:31, closed)

'French polish' is a euphemism for a fingering, right?

( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Tue 9 Sep 2014, 22:07, closed)

It was....seepage.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 10 Sep 2014, 14:21, closed)

you could always upgrade to friends who can do basic arithmetic without a calculator

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 9 Sep 2014, 21:55, closed)

Sorry, not interested
Try someone your own age?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 9 Sep 2014, 22:29, closed)

my friends have all been able to do basic arithmetic since they were at primary school
I doubt yours are suddenly going to grasp it now
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 10 Sep 2014, 2:22, closed)

you say "all"
But you mean "both"
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 10 Sep 2014, 14:41, closed)

Or even better...
Who don't feed on shit.
(Chickenwire social lubricator extraordinaire, Wed 10 Sep 2014, 8:34, closed)

hey ... some of my best friends are shit eaters

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 10 Sep 2014, 8:45, closed)

I was reading about 'pig toilets' yesterday.
Now what if one day the owner decides to eat the pig?
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 10 Sep 2014, 8:47, closed)

that's pretty much how we domesticated pigs
Mmmmm ... poo bacon.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 10 Sep 2014, 8:51, closed)

So glad I gave up meat years ago and now live exclusively on organic fruit and veg oh wait

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 10 Sep 2014, 8:58, closed)

Bring back the Pig Bins!

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 10 Sep 2014, 9:02, closed)

I think you're doing it wrong

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Wed 10 Sep 2014, 8:58, closed)

AND you had to meet him in a pub in Kensington.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 10 Sep 2014, 7:45, closed)