I could have dined out on this one for years...
So I was working in a rough-as pub in Hammersmith (part of a famous chain that keeps old alcoholics heated through the winter). I was working in this pub because I had just moved down to the big smoke and needed some cash for rent and stuff.

Now, there are many aspects of working in the pub that were awful (the customers mainly; but the hours, low pay, increased night bus travel all were particular joys) but there were some things that were brilliant. I worked with some amazing people (who, 10 years later are still amongst my closest friends). I had never met an Aussie before, but now I knew loads of them.

One of the girls I worked with was super cute. She was Aussie, funny, loud and really fit....and for some reason, after about a couple of months working together she developed a major crush on me.

One night we were all out at the Palais (RIP) when she took me away from the others on the dancefloor and started thoroughly 'pashing' me as she would describe it. Suffice to say I was really rather pleased with this development.

Now, this same evening the staff from a different pub were also at school disco. These guys used to take their breaks in our pub, as we took our breaks at theirs. One of the girls who worked in there was Polish, chubby, quite pretty and also had the hots for me. (Take it for granted that I am not an oil painting, but I was used to fat lasses liking me). She also, I knew, partook in the occasional bout of lady flirting. I have no idea if it ever went further than this, but I certainly had seen her snog girls.

So, at the end of the night my lovely Aussie came over to me. it was obvious that she and I were going to go back to hers and have some messy (and probably embarrassing) shenannigans. But I was a little surprised to see that she had the Polish girl with her.

"Big Fella" she said "xxxxxxxx says she would like to come back with us. I said it was up to you, but I thought it would be fun".

Well, as you can imagine, i was slightly startled. I mean, I was blatently and openly being odffered a threesome..... I only wish I realised that. I, because I am an idiot, thought that having another girl there would mean that me and my Aussie lady friend would not be able to get up to any messy and embarrassing shenannigans. So I said No.

No.

To a threesome.

With two ladies.

And I would be allowed to play.

Nude.

With two ladies.

I'm a dick.
(Thebigfella, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 14:33, 22 replies)

YOU.
FUCKING.


IDIOT.
( Finite "Aardvark sorted out my shit!" on, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 14:42, closed)

fair

(Thebigfella, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 14:55, closed)

And the worse thing is, it will never been offered again :(
It really is a once in a lifetime thing for most of us. I got offered a threesome in 2000, turned it down on the grounds that I liked one of them a lot more than the other....Never been offered since. I asked Mrs. Arrow if she could ever do this for me and she said, "Yeah sure, as long as we have a threesome with two blokes first"....This subject hasn't been spoken about since. She has a talent with reverse psychology.
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 14:49, closed)

Yup - a one off
I was no oil painting then, now I am just 10 years older and fatter. And my missus says the exact same thing as Mrs Arrow.
(Thebigfella, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 14:53, closed)

weirdly enough 10 years has passed since my offer
It was never gonna get as easy as that *cries*
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 16:29, closed)

Lie Back and Think of England
Call her bluff. Take it like a man! Er, from a man.
(bergec is filled with inertia, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 21:26, closed)

She doesn't like being called Bluff :\

(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 16:26, closed)

i'd go for it, never harmed me last time
And who knows, you may enjoy it more than you think. you don't have to touch the other bloke you know. Just make sure It's someone you'll never see again.
(Kip, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 9:36, closed)

Naaaa
you are a braver man than I, think you would have to be uber confident in your relationship to do that. Besides Mrs Arrow only said it to put me off the scent of two whimsies on my face.
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Mon 27 Sep 2010, 15:14, closed)

Granted it's 'a lot' different watching some bloke nob your bird, but it can go really well, although it can go really wrong too!
Nowhere near as much fun as my mate and I nobbing some bird that we met in a club in Newquay whilst on a lads tour in the early 90's, was a little off putting sometimes though, especially when he was underneath, the girl was riding him and I was taking her from behind cause my balls kept slapping his balls.

(probably too much information there, sorry)

And re-reading you OP, does you missus want a threesome with 'two blokes' including you or just two randoms? ;-)
(Kip, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:00, closed)

You never know!
Some of us girls love threesomes. To the extent of shoving random women in our boyfriend's face.

There are times when my boyfriend says, "Okay, okay, just one more, but then let's just do things ourselves for a time, alright?" because I've gotten him involved in so many.

Granted, girls like us aren't everywhere, but we do exist.

Keep up hope, guys!
(Audienda, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 1:47, closed)

The pub...
wasn't the William Morris perchance?
(Slacker, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 14:51, closed)

ummmm
names have been changed to protect the innocent (especially me). But, at the time there was only one Wetherspoons in Hammersmith.
(Thebigfella, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 14:54, closed)

furry muff
(Slacker, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 15:51, closed)

Haha
Gutted!
(Tom Jones's Mojo Hasn't had any since, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 15:30, closed)

Yes.
You are a dick.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 17:06, closed)

Fuck. Your. Life.
Words fail me, and I think a silent response is better than written abuse....











I do sympathise, we all make mistakes, clearly you made an entire lifetime's worth in one moment.... well played!!
(Anne Frank started to build a loft conversion on, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 21:48, closed)

...
(Braising Squid, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 23:59, closed)

Bimbling
You are a toss

Anyways, yes, this opportunity comes along once in a lifetime

And yes, having two chicks is awesome.
(lemonadegame, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 6:24, closed)

I agree..
Unless you get two who actually know each other really well, and they start a conversation whilst you're 'mid session'.

Just shut the fuck up and suck on something..
*sighs*
(danniekavanagh did nothing constructive on, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 10:07, closed)

yes but...
Those of us who managed to go the extra step now live in the knowledge that fun though it might have been for, well most of it, ultimately its impossible to please 2 women. You may have a headache over missing out, but you don't have the headache that maybe they laughed about you afterwards. Not, of course that I have any idea about any of it...
(SamuraiMongoose, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 22:28, closed)

I feel your pain
In my youth i had the same chance nad reacted the same way.

Foolish foolish boy.
( jakedamusss I understand, and dont care., Mon 27 Sep 2010, 6:14, closed)