Can't read the signs
So I'm 17 and still a virgin. Spent most of the summer between the lower and upper sixth hanging out with a good female friend (who I also fancied the arse off).

We started 'getting off' with each other. Starts with kissing and over a couple of weeks ends up with me making her nipples erect by rubbing them through her t-shirt/bra.

This continued for another week with me still not sure if we were 'going out with each other' and not being too sure if/how to progress.

It culminated with her unbuttoning my trousers and pulling the zip down 'to see what colour boxers you're wearing' and her picking up my hand and pushing it down (through her trousers) onto her mound of venus. I thought the latter must have been the result of a bad aim and so thought no more of it and politely moved my hand away.

The next day I went on holiday with my parents and so didn't see her until school. She was decidedly cool with me and we never did anything together again.

It would be another two years before I finally put my rude bits in a lady.

However I didn't learn. Jump forward a bit and I'm now 27. I go out on a date with a girl I really like. So much that I don't want her to think my only interest in her is sexual. We end up at her place, very pissed, we commence to snog on her sofa etc etc. She put her arms around my neck and whispers to me 'do you want to take me to bed ?'.

I though I was being a gentleman (and a bit sophisticated) by stating 'I don't sleep with people on first dates'. She cooled, I walked home and had a wank. No second date.
(Bitter and Twisted, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 19:36, 9 replies)

you.......
twat.
(wobbler, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 20:23, closed)

I know, I know. I hold my hands up.
(Bitter and Twisted, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 20:38, closed)

Also, they're better
with the arse still on.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 20:39, closed)

Uh ?

(Bitter and Twisted, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 20:46, closed)

"who I also fancied the arse off"

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 15:04, closed)

To be honest
you had a lucky escape, decent girls don't sleep with you on a first date either :)
(Petite chien is going to do science to it, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 22:07, closed)

but then he didn't have to stay with her... I wouldn't call that lucky.
(shanterbabs, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 0:26, closed)

an insight into the female mind*
"I don't sleep with people on first dates" translates to her as "but you do, hence I think you're a slut".


*not everyone thinks like this, but I find it terribly amusing when I find out that some do. Even though I am female myself, I find studying the twisted ways in which women can misinterpret/overthink such things wonderfully interesting :)
(xanthine, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:20, closed)

What the FUCK
is WRONG with you?
( His Popiness the Hole Invaded Poland on, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 23:40, closed)