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This is a question Desperate Times

Stranded in a hotel in an African war zone with no internet access for two weeks, I was forced to resort to desperate measures. Possessing only my passport and the clothes I stood up in; and the warning "You can catch it shaking hands with a vicar out there" ringing in my ears, I had to draw my own porn in order to preserve my sanity.

Alas, it all came out looking like Coronation Street's Audrey Roberts, but, as they say, any port in a storm.

What have you done in times of great desperation?

(I helped save b3ta! Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 15 Nov 2007, 10:10)
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I have been single
for four months. I sometimes knock tables over when I stand up. I will let your imaginations dictate the rest.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 20 Nov 2007, 14:11, 13 replies)
That's
created a mental image!! Could be painful if it's a heavy table!
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Tue 20 Nov 2007, 14:17, closed)
Well!
I have been single for a lot longer and no tables have suffered the whole time. Mind you a few pillows have been chewed up and spat out.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 20 Nov 2007, 14:25, closed)
ahhhhh
Have you been eating peanuts and getting fat?

I have a cure...
(I helped save b3ta! Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Tue 20 Nov 2007, 14:29, closed)
Yeah, this is the internet, remember.
Plenty of people on here will have been single for a hell of a lot longer than four months.
(0800221155 Coldseal windows, Tue 20 Nov 2007, 14:39, closed)
You think that's bad
I've got married mates who haven't had a lumber in 4 years, so think yourself lucky!

You could me married and still not getting any!
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 20 Nov 2007, 15:20, closed)
arse
do you have a big fat arse?
(amy crackpipe firing up Camden, Tue 20 Nov 2007, 15:23, closed)
I've slept with a woman most nights for the last 7 years
and I still pop to the lav at work to knock one off occasionally.
(frankspencer, Tue 20 Nov 2007, 15:39, closed)
Four months?
Gah, four months is nothing... I once went without for sixteen years...
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 20 Nov 2007, 15:43, closed)
I take your 16 years
and raise to 21.
(frankspencer, Tue 20 Nov 2007, 15:51, closed)
FS
Damn, I fold.

I didn't realise we were playing pontoon?
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 20 Nov 2007, 15:55, closed)
playing pontoon?
poontang, surely?

ha ha ha...
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 20 Nov 2007, 16:04, closed)
Have you ever heard of
wanking?
(grandmasterfluffles Come to my Armageddon party on, Tue 20 Nov 2007, 17:18, closed)
yes i have heard of it
it does not do the job.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 20 Nov 2007, 17:39, closed)

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