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This is a question Desperate Times

Stranded in a hotel in an African war zone with no internet access for two weeks, I was forced to resort to desperate measures. Possessing only my passport and the clothes I stood up in; and the warning "You can catch it shaking hands with a vicar out there" ringing in my ears, I had to draw my own porn in order to preserve my sanity.

Alas, it all came out looking like Coronation Street's Audrey Roberts, but, as they say, any port in a storm.

What have you done in times of great desperation?

(, Thu 15 Nov 2007, 10:10)
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b3ta cookbook again
This one taught to me by an Italian friend, who swears it's an actual recipe. You've all done one, thought I'd add the single cheapest, tastiest quick meal EVER.

You will need:
Dried spaghetti (that fresh stuff in supermarkets? Bollocks)
Dried chillies (preferably whole, preferably the small bird's eye chillis)

That's it.

Boil water.
Put in dried spaghetti.
Whilst that's cooking, put a fair sized chod of butter in a pan and fry till slightly foamy.
Add three dried bird's eye chillis. No more. No less.
Stir for a bit, turn off heat.
Drain now-cooked (to al dente, not sloppy - should have a little resistance when you bite, but not chewy) pasta fully.
Chuck into pan with the butter and chillies, turning heat back on so it spits a bit and stir, stir, stir.

Now eat. Pick out the obvious chillis, not for eating.

What you are now munching on is simple goodness with a kick of chilli, and extremely tasty on the palette. And let's add this up, in the traditional Tesco style of my student days:

Dried spaghetti - 39p
Block of butter - 60p
Dried chillies - £1.00 (but bought in market, to be honest)
These ingredients will make this meal about 6 times, depending on how much you eat.
That's 33p a meal.

For glamour, or to impress date, you may add crushed garlic, being careful not to burn it in hot butter, or even parmesan cheese. Hell, go all out and chuck in a little parsley (fresh is better, but the freezer section does cheap herbs too - woo) for colour and REAL fanciness.

Desperate should not mean quality is comprimised, peeps.
(, Wed 21 Nov 2007, 10:12, 8 replies)
I use a similar method
Spaghetti. Butter. Garlic. Shrimp (if you're feeling flush).

Cook spaghetti. Fry butter, adding crushed garlic (or just whole cloves), and fresh shrimp. Stir into pasta. Eat. Yum.
(, Wed 21 Nov 2007, 10:19, closed)
Think I can top this
Dried pasta
Black pepper

Follow the recipe above only adding a sprinkle of pepper (how much depends on taste) instead of chillies. Tastes great as well! :)
(, Wed 21 Nov 2007, 10:21, closed)
egg noodles
soy sauce

cook noodles
add butter and soy sauce

(, Wed 21 Nov 2007, 10:27, closed)
I love this recipe
The Italians eat this sort of thing after the pub when were eating a kebab, I've been told.

I add tinned crab and breadcrumbs.
(, Wed 21 Nov 2007, 10:37, closed)
My sister showed me this one
Dried pasta
black pepper (not white pepper, as I have learned to my cost)

Not quite as budget as cheap-ass butter and chilli, but you don't need much pesto and the small tins of tuna are about a buck-fifty. I lived on this for the last six months of my thesis.
(, Wed 21 Nov 2007, 11:34, closed)
Red Morning Light
That is an ace idea - my dinner is right there. Thank you.
(, Wed 21 Nov 2007, 11:50, closed)
We have a few similar...
1) Spaghetti and rocket: Spaghetti, fresh chillis, garlic, rocket, olive oil and butter.

Cook all other then the Spaghetti in a wok or frying pan, then cook pasta, put it on the plate and pour the frying pan/wok contents on top... (oh, you need to slice the chillis and garlic :P)

2) Crab Paster: Whizz up some basil, olive oil, garlic and chillis in a blender, food processor or one of them braun thingies, put some pasta in some boiling water and then put the whizzed up stuff in a pan, when it gets warm throw in some tinned crab and wait for it to cook (I like it crispy in parts, my dad prefers it more moist) then strain the pasta, put it on the plate and throw the crab on top (well, drop, throwing might make it splatter.
(, Wed 21 Nov 2007, 12:14, closed)
I like the following:

1) Similar to the above, but: spaghetti, butter, parmesan, a dash of Tobasco, and poppy seeds

2) Spaghetti plus just enough Miracle Whip to lightly coat the noodles. You do NOT want big globs of it left after you've stirred it thoroughly. Sounds absolutely disgusting, but it's actually quite good as a "once in a while" meal.
(, Wed 21 Nov 2007, 15:32, closed)

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