first time sex
"is that it?"

in retrospect, maybe i should have saved the threesome until we were a bit better at it.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 26 Jun 2008, 14:24, 26 replies)

Shame...
For me, it's like the first time, every time.

That's why I have to get my kicks doing "other stuff".
( Cawl, Thu 26 Jun 2008, 14:26, closed)

i was very young
and they were both inexperienced
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 26 Jun 2008, 14:27, closed)

You're so right...
...you spend your teenage years hearing so much hype about how amazing the "first time" is meant to be, that when the time actually comes - and you do - you realise you were so busy worrying about getting it right, you forgot to enjoy it.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 26 Jun 2008, 14:28, closed)

^ They?!
How many first times did you have?

All I really remember about mine is that it was in the early morning and it FUCKING HURT.
( Maladicta, Thu 26 Jun 2008, 14:28, closed)

I was so drunk
that I couldn't finish. Shame really.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 26 Jun 2008, 14:30, closed)

On a serious note
I know it happened, but I don't remember it.
Vodka had been consumed.
In quantity.
I'm right classy, I am.
( Cawl, Thu 26 Jun 2008, 14:30, closed)

Mine was in
a seedy roadside motel. I'm *that* classy.
( Kroney, Thu 26 Jun 2008, 14:34, closed)

@maladicta
only one first time, but there were 2 lads.
hey, i was young and it was shit, it shouldn't count as a threesome.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 26 Jun 2008, 14:36, closed)

Your first time
Was a threesome?
...
Fair enough.
( Cawl, Thu 26 Jun 2008, 14:41, closed)

@ Smash
Your first time was nearly a threesome? That makes you Jesus.
( Maladicta, Thu 26 Jun 2008, 14:43, closed)

@al
Same here.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 26 Jun 2008, 14:44, closed)

mine was actually quite good
I was hammered on gin (sex drink of the gods) and hadn't told my partner that it was my first time so she wasn't expecting it to be shit, therefore it wasn't.

I was 19 though, that was a disappointing result
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Jun 2008, 14:46, closed)

I was sober (which probably didn't help)
the girl was hotter than I could have hoped for, more experienced too.
It was all over far to quickly, pretty disappointing given the build up in the previous 17 years.

10 minutes later a much better performance occured.

I just wish I'd knocked one out before going out that night :(
( Moonraker isn't the droid you were looking for, Thu 26 Jun 2008, 14:48, closed)

@Moonraker
If you didn't knock one out beforehand why didn't you go for round 2 then?
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 26 Jun 2008, 14:59, closed)

@maladicta
i can't be jesus! i'm real!
*checks hands and feet for holes*
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 26 Jun 2008, 15:02, closed)

Going solo
I also had a similar experience.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 26 Jun 2008, 15:04, closed)

@Misterspakerman
"10 minutes later a much better performance occured."


I did, and one that deserved a standing ovation. But still, the first's the first so they say...
( Moonraker isn't the droid you were looking for, Thu 26 Jun 2008, 15:07, closed)

My first time was fucking ace.
There's a lot to be said for waiting till your older.

Edit - and no it wasn't last week.
( girlinthehole, Thu 26 Jun 2008, 15:17, closed)

@spakkaman
you men are lucky, yours is easier to play with and doesn't require props!
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 26 Jun 2008, 15:21, closed)

@bgb
i should have waited, but i was bored and wanted to see what all the fuss was about. when it was over, i still didn't know what all the fuss was about.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 26 Jun 2008, 15:22, closed)

@Smash Monkey
But you ladies make it last longer.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 26 Jun 2008, 15:47, closed)

not always
i'm impatient ;)
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 26 Jun 2008, 16:19, closed)

Aww, mine was lovely
valentines day in his brothers bed (he only had a single bed while his brother had a double), while his brother was at school and his mum was at work. Divine comedy playing on the stereo and rose petals everywhere.

Totally engineered of course, but glad I can look back and think aww, he was sweet.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 26 Jun 2008, 18:58, closed)

@becky
my god, you were lucky! i got a stolen mattress, the foundations of a demolished house and a few planks of wood thrown together to form a crude shelter!
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 1:15, closed)

Wow
You too, eh.

Threesomes on your first time, very disappointing.

xx
(Iris_Wildthyme is three sheets to the wind, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 20:22, closed)

@ alexandrine
there just happened to be three of us and we all wanted to see what it was like, so we thought "why not?"
so we did.
it was shit.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 14:20, closed)