DIY Bikini Line
Ex-flatmate swears this is true.

He'd picked up some lass and lured her back to our flat and was about to get down and dirty when he noticed something. Her ladybits were a tad on the hairy side.

So he tromps into the bathroom, returns to his bed and chucks a razor at her.

"For fucks sake tidy yourself up a bit" he grumped then retired to the front room to watch telly until she'd finished.

When telling this tale in the pub he said:

"Man - it was so long I could have plaited the bugger"

He's such a charmer.....

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Tue 8 Apr 2008, 1:53, 18 replies)

Not...
Andy again?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 8 Apr 2008, 9:35, closed)

ROFL
Click!
( RiverBlues Hello, Tue 8 Apr 2008, 9:52, closed)

Gallantry in action
I know a chap who did the same thing... He was working in Khazakstan and pulled a local who by all accounts had a bit of a Judith going on (as in "Judith" from Life of Brian).

The gentleman in question took her to the shower, handed her a razor and left her to it.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 8 Apr 2008, 9:56, closed)

^ PJM
Glad you explained the Monty Python reference - otherwise I'd be wracking my brain to think what rhymes with "Chalmers".....
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Tue 8 Apr 2008, 10:01, closed)

and how, exactly,
are these men not wearing their genitals as a hat?

Hilarity and misogyny aside, is Interweb porn to blame for the huge rise in the completely shaven lady (and, worse - much worse, man)? And does that make me prudish or boring for finding it unnatural and unattractive?
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 8 Apr 2008, 10:34, closed)

@ CHCB
Good point. I perform intimate topiary to "keep it neat", otherwise it would be down to my knees. However, one drunken evening, inspired by a Frankie film, I decided to go the whole hog and shave the lot off.
Not a good look. Possibly do-able before one has given birth - definitely not after. Yak. It also looked inappropriately pre-pubescent, which was especially icky. Is that the idea? Eeeeough. Nasty. Yak again.
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Tue 8 Apr 2008, 11:05, closed)

@CHCB
Having batted for both teams I can say that a nice trimmed or clean shaven tuppence or meat and two veg is much better. I think it's more to do with having less hairs in you mouth when your down there.
( girlinthehole, Tue 8 Apr 2008, 11:06, closed)

From a male perspective
I would concur with CHCB & Tourette's. The totally bald look doesn't really do it for me.

On the other hand, the '70s bush is taking it too far. IMO, it's best to keep it like a nice lawn - regularly mown, with neat edges!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 8 Apr 2008, 11:08, closed)

Actually
There seems to be a fair number of people from my old village who go the shaving route. We've actually had quite a few discussions in the pub about it.

Me? I'm against it personally. For women, it makes them look like pre-pubescent girls and that makes me queasy.

And for men, it makes them look like "the last turkey in the shop".

And Davros? You were spot on with your guess.

Cheers

Edit: K2K6 has the right idea..
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Tue 8 Apr 2008, 11:11, closed)

yes
The neatly trimmed ladygarden can henceforth be known as "The K2k6".

I dunno, BGB... the look of the shaven male bits is so amusingly awful that my mouth would be too busy laughing loudly in distaste to be doing anything else.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 8 Apr 2008, 11:17, closed)

@chcb
I agree, but I do like a giggle mid frolick.
( girlinthehole, Tue 8 Apr 2008, 11:20, closed)

Well
My male friends who are into shaving claims that it makes their cock look much bigger.

So I said:

"Just get a girlfriend who has little hands - it looks *MASSIVE* then..."

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Tue 8 Apr 2008, 11:20, closed)

Pant beardage
If I'm expected to venture south of the Thames - which I'm more than enthusiastic about - then I'd prefer not to be confronted with what resembles the top of Leo Sayer's head. Dragging foliage out of one's teeth and the back of one's throat ain't sexy.

Likewise, I'd rather not feel like I'm breaking the law either.

One thing to note - I dated a girl who had a "Barichello" - ie a cut price Brazillian (cheaper than a Senna, not quite as good) which she carved with a razor. However, the two day old beard-stubble played havoc with my lips and cheeks, I'd rather some softer plumage than scratchy stubble.

Does that clear it up?
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 8 Apr 2008, 11:32, closed)

Gosh!
I'm honoured to have a ladygarden style named after me!

And increasing apparent cock size can be done simply by trimming the excess hair round the base of the shaft.

Allegedly.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 8 Apr 2008, 11:33, closed)

count me in
for the neatly trimmed crowd. I've used the term "crotch wookie" in the past to describe this. And, just as I prefer women to be trimmed (not shaven), I tend to keep my own nether regions neat as well- not only is it nicer for any woman kind enough to pay attention to me there, but it's generally more comfortable not to have the hairs get caught in my skin and itch like hell when things shift position down there. It's just not acceptable to see a hot woman go past and immediately start adjusting things because of a sudden tug on a follicle- people tend to get the wrong idea!
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 8 Apr 2008, 12:48, closed)

My flatmate
has a similarly callous story. He used to live with his mate G, and one night they went out, got pissed up, and G brought a girl back with him. The next morning he woke up and realised he'd pulled an absolute munter, so he went into my mates room and told him.
He then dragged my mate into his room, where the poor girl was sitting naked in his bed and said
"Look- I told you"
Happy days
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Tue 8 Apr 2008, 14:03, closed)

maybe Texans are just weird...
but around here, people aged 30-45 keep a close trim or shave completely. Under 30....fully shaved. And that is for both men and women. It is weird looking at first, but you get used to it.

I don't know what people over 45 do, I guess I'll have to ask mother.
( flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Wed 9 Apr 2008, 2:51, closed)

I'm with Legless on this one
A tuppenny all-off is not a good look and just makes me feel slightly queasy. Trim and neat, fine, completely smooth... *shudder*.

And CCHB, I think you're right about the proliferation of interweb pron being partly responsible. People see it as the norm, and then follow suit.

In fact I need to lie down just thinking about it...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 9 Apr 2008, 10:09, closed)