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This is a question DIY disasters

I just can't do power tools. They always fly out of control and end up embedded somewhere they shouldn't. I've no idea how I've still got all the appendages I was born with.

Add to that the fact that nothing ends up square, able to support weight or free of sticking-out sharp bits and you can see why I try to avoid DIY.

Tell us of your own DIY disasters.

(, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 17:19)
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Dont Know if it's been posted
But have you heard the one about the deaf dog and the drill??

It was relayed to me by a Cro-Magnon who was installing my cable connection a few years back.

The story goes that a 'friend of a friend' was installing cable in some old dears house and the 'deaf dog' was asleep the other side of the wall where the hole was being drilled.

Result one dog with an 18mm hole in his head and blood everywhere.

I dont quite buy it myself tho...

Length? None
(, Wed 9 Apr 2008, 13:47, 22 replies)
Seeing as deaf dogs
have to learn to use vibration instead of sound (and people too), there's no way a dog wouldn't wake up sharpish as soon as an 18mm drill started going through the wall next to its head.
(, Wed 9 Apr 2008, 13:58, closed)
Indeed
Thats why he was refered to as Cro-Magnon

The Tit
(, Wed 9 Apr 2008, 14:05, closed)
.
Perhaps he was barking.
(, Wed 9 Apr 2008, 14:18, closed)
I reckon it's just a
Right load of slaver.
(, Wed 9 Apr 2008, 14:27, closed)
A sleeping dog
Could be shot in the head from a high-powered rifle, however, and not have time to feel any vibration.
(, Wed 9 Apr 2008, 15:12, closed)
That Frank
Is a very good point
(, Wed 9 Apr 2008, 15:19, closed)
There is an old proverb
That sleeping dogs never lie

So it must be all true

:/
(, Wed 9 Apr 2008, 15:22, closed)
Some of these puns
are a bit ruff.
(, Wed 9 Apr 2008, 15:25, closed)
If you drilled
A clean enough hole, I guess you've got a free sex-toy.
(, Wed 9 Apr 2008, 15:26, closed)
Kaol, I don't expect that kind of thing from you!
althegeordie and frank, maybe, but definitely not you!
(, Wed 9 Apr 2008, 15:36, closed)
@BM
I know, I feel like I'm being hounded out of the QOTW...
(, Wed 9 Apr 2008, 15:46, closed)
@DIT
step up your game! I haven't seen a single bestiality, necrophilia or incest joke from you yet.

*edit* I just read your profile, the things you say about Dangermouse and Rik Mayall make me want to marry you.

Move over al and Kaol! Hot cock coming through!
(, Wed 9 Apr 2008, 15:48, closed)
Oh shit!
It's wank-off Wednesday, back later!
(, Wed 9 Apr 2008, 15:59, closed)
Sigh...
Some of these puns are paw. Very paw.
(, Wed 9 Apr 2008, 16:29, closed)
Buck...
don't be such a bitch!
(, Wed 9 Apr 2008, 16:36, closed)
@BM
Well, I was a necrophiliac until some rotten cunt split on me...

(A joke from the dawn of time for you there...)
(, Wed 9 Apr 2008, 16:59, closed)
DIT
You should've gaffer taped her up and posted it in the QOTW.
(, Wed 9 Apr 2008, 17:26, closed)
Kaol
I'm intrigued that you could use an 18mm hole as a sex aid.
(, Wed 9 Apr 2008, 18:50, closed)
^^
well obviously you would need to line it with something soft to avoid some sort of friction burn, and that would have the added benefit of reducing the radius to a usable size.





What?
(, Wed 9 Apr 2008, 18:54, closed)
^^^^
I've just had a great idea for lady stimulation

*edges out of room*
(, Wed 9 Apr 2008, 19:16, closed)
@Madam Marlboro
That's a pilot hole...

Obviously my penis is self-tapping though.
(, Thu 10 Apr 2008, 9:54, closed)
@Kaol
If you had a big enough dog, you could ride it and save yourself the exertion. You'd have to drill into the back of its head though.
(, Thu 10 Apr 2008, 13:03, closed)

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