I used to have chronic halitosis that not even medication could shift.
Then one day I had the bright idea of switching my mouthwash with Milton sterilising fluid. Gargling it hurt like hell, it completely bleached the inside of my mouth and I spat out a load of blood along with the usual sputum, but I'm such a double-hard bastard that I took it in my stride without even blinking and carried on my daily routine as usual. YEEEEEEEEAH! [cue CSI music]

My doctor (huh! Health professionals, what do they know about anything?) reckons I've now got mouth ulcers and acute chlorine poisoning, but at least I don't have bad breath any more!
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 21 Jan 2011, 22:13, 12 replies)

What you need to do now, is sandpaper the inside of your mouth.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 21 Jan 2011, 22:17, closed)

I knew that tiny orbital sander would come in handy some day.
Plus, I could use a soldering iron to cauterise the wounds.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 21 Jan 2011, 22:18, closed)

As "This product is not acutely toxic", "Upon prolonged contact with skin, the product may cause slight skin irritation" you might like to get a second opinion.
(Twangy Rubber, Sat 22 Jan 2011, 0:06, closed)

The most important phrase in that document is "Issue: 3 Date: November 2004".
Also, I work in a factory that makes the stuff; I'm not convinced the formula hasn't changed or been reassessed in six years and at least one change of brand owner.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 22 Jan 2011, 1:54, closed)

The "what's inside" list on Ocado seems to think it's still the same weak bleach and salt solution it's always been - and a 2% hypochlorite solution does not have the described effect on the inside of the mouth.

EDIT: Here's the current MSDS for the "pro" version of it, from P+G, and it is indeed weak bleach.

As the website says, "When it comes into contact with protein, Milton Sterilising Fluid breaks down to just WATER and minute traces of salt."
(Twangy Rubber, Sat 22 Jan 2011, 15:55, closed)

Yeah, well you're a troll.
*ignores*
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 22 Jan 2011, 18:20, closed)

I'll read that as "damn, I have been caught out in my exaggerations", and respond in kind.
(Twangy Rubber, Sat 22 Jan 2011, 18:56, closed)

Try some 6% hydrogen peroxide
diluted a bit of course.
(M61A1 CUPID- STUNTS, Sat 22 Jan 2011, 7:43, closed)

Fuck that.
Bench strength, FTW.
(jeremy kyle's undercrackers, Sat 22 Jan 2011, 9:42, closed)

Poof
Real hard bastards gargle with jeyes fluid.
(MagicMoose, Sat 22 Jan 2011, 10:05, closed)

Or Hydrochloric acid, concentrated *nods* tastes a bit lemon juicey.
( Bathory, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 12:59, closed)

If it's not Domestos
then you are all pussies.
(Wagane, Mon 24 Jan 2011, 1:08, closed)