After breaking a cue over a friend during a boisterous game of pool once,
the bar staff didn't even ask how it happened, they just charged me a fiver and gave me a new one.
(Woodlouse say it with flowers. Send her a Triffid, Sun 9 Feb 2014, 14:46, 33 replies)

Of course you did.
They're made of Hollywood balsa wood in your local are they? Because real pool cues tend to break the person, not the other way around.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 9 Feb 2014, 15:42, closed)

The chinny reckon is strong with this one.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sun 9 Feb 2014, 16:17, closed)

I beg to differ on the subject of pub pool cues - they are not a great weapon and break very easily
when used with force. I speak as a person who has been pool cued to the back of the head three times and across the legs, they do not hurt that much and as I say they break. However, the point of the story is why the fuck do people think it acceptable to behave like utter cunts when out drinking, boisterous game of pool.
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Sun 9 Feb 2014, 16:30, closed)

You do type like somebody who has been repeatedly beaten around the head. That's true enough.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 9 Feb 2014, 16:34, closed)

Another example of why replies should be eligible to win.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sun 9 Feb 2014, 17:40, closed)

^what he said

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 9 Feb 2014, 17:41, closed)

Oh, well played.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sun 9 Feb 2014, 21:38, closed)

Really, i think it took a nick off the bat and he is refusing to walk.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 13:38, closed)

Whether or not I speak like someone with a brain injury is something, like the use of pool cues
as a weapon, you know nothing about. Stick to the feeble put down attempts, that is very much something you know about.
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 13:36, closed)

Try not to spill tears down your bib.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 14:02, closed)

Yes, I really must. I imagine you like to spill sugar free jelly onto yours.
see you ninja edited to TYPE and not speak.
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 14:20, closed)

I edited it because you seemed incapable of understanding it in that context.
It didn't seem to trouble anybody else so I thought I'd simplify it to keep the field level for the slow kids.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 14:40, closed)

You really did not have to go to so much trouble I understood perfectly, I also understand why you
changed it. So, tell me how much you know about using a pool cue as a weapon or it being used upon you, you seemed to know so very much about it. Or rather don't bother. LAST.
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 17:16, closed)

SRS internet

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 18:08, closed)

TDS internetz

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 19:58, closed)

You've obviously never seen the thick end applied to someone's head then.
I'm assuming that a different cue was used for each of the 4+ strikes you endured given how easily they break? On a more boring and perhaps relevant note I can't imagine every single pub pool cue in the land undergoes universal stress testing. I also understand that if one wanted to cause harm with a cue it would be advised to first break it oneself and utilize the stout end.
(mustardtiger108, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 2:40, closed)

Yes, or have a custom made butt for your own cue containing knuckle dusters and a knife plus
extra lead weighting. Do fuck off and jog on.
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 7:57, closed)

Bless. This really is a sore point, isn't it?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 8:06, closed)

Like wasps around a jam jar.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 10:20, closed)

Wee bit late for a No I Trol U! response.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 10:24, closed)

Trolling I was offering serious advice about not using a pool cue as a weapon in a pub fight.
That it is useless. You however remain adamant that pool cues are a good weapon although I very much doubt you have used one or had one used on you. As for the breaking it in two, well the noise gives away the intent and then you have to swing the broken butt in a pub which are usually crowded and by the time you get around to using the butt it is too late. Carry on though with your vast knowledge of pub brawling.
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 12:03, closed)

Yeah. OK petal.
I definitely won't suggest that you Google something like 'pool cue attack' because that definitely won't bring up thousands of examples of people successfully using pub pool cues as offensive weapons. Herp derpity derp.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 12:16, closed)

Pity google does not cover, 'pool cue attack not much damage'

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 16:26, closed)

I'm not entirely convinced that level of modification is neccecery.
Nor is it akin to snapping a length of wood.
(mustardtiger108, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 8:36, closed)

I reckon you could open the local paper in any half-arsed market town in the country
and find a 'bloke beaten with pool cue' story. These have clearly all been specially modified and aren't just the basic £5 behind-the-bar cues.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 9:03, closed)

lol, terminator wars

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 9 Feb 2014, 15:47, closed)

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sun 9 Feb 2014, 21:39, closed)

I once hit my friend with a chair.
Not only did the chair collapse into matchsticks, but as my friend spun away from me, his teeth flew out of his face.
Later, after we'd patched things up over a couple more pints, the pub exploded in slow motion, as we walked out the door, affording us both the opportunity to leap into the air and be thrown home by the force of the blast.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sun 9 Feb 2014, 23:16, closed)

I seen that.
Your trouser legs were hanging in shreds and your faces were all sooty.
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Mon 10 Feb 2014, 9:20, closed)

I hate it when I'm getting all street tough and in the first grapple my shirt shreds and I have to do the rest of the fight with my ripped abs and pecs on show.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 9:43, closed)

But happily my Stetson never falls off and I can simply dust it off and straighten it up when the bad guys have all been thrown through the saloon window.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 9:45, closed)

Reminds me when we was building this railway
in Burma and we'd got fuck all food or clothes but we was always immaculately clean shaven because the guards let us have cut-throat razors and a tin mug.
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Tue 11 Feb 2014, 14:07, closed)

Sometimes I wonder whether those Hollywood documentaries are taking some liberties with the truth.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 15:08, closed)