My favourite landlord of all time was a retired cockney barrow boy who'd spent his hookie earnings buying a country pub.
He was without exception the worst barman in the world. He couldn't pull a pint, couldn't operate the till, and couldn't remember more than one drink at a time.

He'd just pour a drink - often the wrong one - and wheeze 'anyfink else?'

I fucking loved that useless old cunt.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 12:52, 15 replies)

Kindred spirits, eh?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 13:22, closed)

6

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 13:40, closed)

How dare you!
I'm not even slightly cockney.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 13:54, closed)

^ born in a bow bell.
(but certainly not a beau belle, right kids?!)
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 14:17, closed)

This place should be burned for crimes against French.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 14:39, closed)

Does "crime against French" really exist? Really?
I mean, come on. If it's against the French it's not really a crime, is it?
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 15:14, closed)

I meant against the language.
If it were against the French nation then it could never be a crime. It's more likely to be a patriotic duty.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 16:09, closed)

Similar, I knew a very clever but strangely odd landlord who would give you change for the cigarette
machine but often did not take the offered £5.
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 13:43, closed)

His wife would constantly force sandwiches on us too.
They must have been laundering money because there's no way they were running at a profit.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 13:55, closed)

There used to be a club like that near me
Free entry before 11 and free drinks if you were on their text list (everyone was). If you weren't on the list, all drinks were 60p. Double JD, 60p. Pint of Guinness? 60p. They kept that going for over a year in 2008.
( Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 14:31, closed)

You'd have to pay me a lot more than 60p to drink that shit.

( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Mon 10 Feb 2014, 16:53, closed)

Name the drink
If they had it, 60p.
( Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 17:09, closed)

that
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 11 Feb 2014, 18:35, closed)

I still remember the "50p for a double tequila" night at a very studenty pub where I used to live.
Utter carnage.
( .Yeti., Mon 10 Feb 2014, 17:29, closed)

well he was your dad

(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 15:54, closed)