The Mighty Fine.
Down in sunny Pompey it really was not the place to meet, or take a lady friend.

Though not really rough it contained to the oddest collection of people a naval port has ever thrown up.

A gay midget who dressed completely in leather;

An ex Chief Stoker who decided he was a transsexual after doing his 22 and collecting typical 'Jack' tats. In short, a pub it was almost impossible to get thrown out of.

Yet my ex wife managed to get barred for life.

She went on her first 'Run Ashore' (she was a baby Wren), and wandered in with her mates and for some reason they all had helium filled balloons.

They thought it'd be a great laugh to let them go then light the string.

Being just post Falklands they were somewhat surprised when, as the balloons burst, most of the matelots in there dived under the closest table.
(Docofair, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 2:32, 20 replies)

Jesus. How fucking vanilla was your life if that counts as an anecdote.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 7:44, closed)

Could be worse..
...could be this one.
b3ta.com/questions/dodgyboozers/post2210115

Whereby the OP thinks 'one of the regulars got his hair cut' is a story.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 7:56, closed)

Good grief.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 8:39, closed)

Not to mention the vanilla lives of the patrons if most were terrified by a popping balloon.

( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 9:01, closed)

I think that's just some retarded misunderstanding of post traumatic stress in a deeply tragic attempt to sex up the non-story.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 9:12, closed)

Don't forget the garnish of "I don't know the difference between H and He".

( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 11:12, closed)

Oh the humanity!

(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 11:50, closed)

H-umanit-He.
Geddit? Eh? Geddit? It's 'cos it sounds sort of similar, see?

Oh, suit yourself.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 14:54, closed)

Hydrogenumanitelium is my new favourite element.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 15:03, closed)

Or that a length of string wouldn't magically act as some sort of fuse.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 12:36, closed)

this story doesn't cover the bit where your wife got banged by everyone in the navy

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 9:15, closed)

Yeah, sailors banging a woman.
Not likely.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 9:51, closed)

Well I liked it.
Reminds me of the practical joke of screaming "INCOMING!!!!" at Vietnam veterans.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 9:17, closed)

Or the classic gag of shouting "FIRE IN THE HOLE!!"
before wrestling someone to the ground, and pepper spraying their anus.
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 10:17, closed)

Hahahayeah.
Or when you shout 'SUPPLIES' at Chinese recruits.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 10:22, closed)

These days, every time I'm underneath a descending helicopter
I flash back to that time I was sitting beneath a ceiling fan
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 10:40, closed)

I was in 'Nam...
Chelt'nam.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 11:59, closed)

Haha!

( .Yeti., Wed 12 Feb 2014, 12:52, closed)

Yeah, because helium is so explosive.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 12 Feb 2014, 16:09, closed)

Too srow, mothafucka!
(dunno why I typed that in racist pseudo-Japanese ... so solly).
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 16:22, closed)