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This is a question Dodgy boozers

Just a vagabond writes, "I once had a guy in a pub shout completely out of the blue at me 'OI! BIG NOSE!' and then ask coyly 'Fancy a fight?'"

Tell us stories of the dodgy boozers you've been to, and what happened.

(, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 12:32)
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The Mighty Fine.
Down in sunny Pompey it really was not the place to meet, or take a lady friend.

Though not really rough it contained to the oddest collection of people a naval port has ever thrown up.

A gay midget who dressed completely in leather;

An ex Chief Stoker who decided he was a transsexual after doing his 22 and collecting typical 'Jack' tats. In short, a pub it was almost impossible to get thrown out of.

Yet my ex wife managed to get barred for life.

She went on her first 'Run Ashore' (she was a baby Wren), and wandered in with her mates and for some reason they all had helium filled balloons.

They thought it'd be a great laugh to let them go then light the string.

Being just post Falklands they were somewhat surprised when, as the balloons burst, most of the matelots in there dived under the closest table.
(, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 2:32, 20 replies)
Jesus. How fucking vanilla was your life if that counts as an anecdote.

(, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 7:44, closed)
Could be worse..
...could be this one.

Whereby the OP thinks 'one of the regulars got his hair cut' is a story.
(, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 7:56, closed)
Good grief.

(, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 8:39, closed)
Not to mention the vanilla lives of the patrons if most were terrified by a popping balloon.

(, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 9:01, closed)
I think that's just some retarded misunderstanding of post traumatic stress in a deeply tragic attempt to sex up the non-story.

(, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 9:12, closed)
Don't forget the garnish of "I don't know the difference between H and He".

(, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 11:12, closed)
Oh the humanity!

(, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 11:50, closed)
Geddit? Eh? Geddit? It's 'cos it sounds sort of similar, see?

Oh, suit yourself.
(, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 14:54, closed)
Hydrogenumanitelium is my new favourite element.

(, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 15:03, closed)
Or that a length of string wouldn't magically act as some sort of fuse.

(, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 12:36, closed)
this story doesn't cover the bit where your wife got banged by everyone in the navy

(, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 9:15, closed)
Yeah, sailors banging a woman.
Not likely.
(, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 9:51, closed)
Well I liked it.
Reminds me of the practical joke of screaming "INCOMING!!!!" at Vietnam veterans.
(, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 9:17, closed)
Or the classic gag of shouting "FIRE IN THE HOLE!!"
before wrestling someone to the ground, and pepper spraying their anus.
(, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 10:17, closed)
Or when you shout 'SUPPLIES' at Chinese recruits.
(, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 10:22, closed)
These days, every time I'm underneath a descending helicopter
I flash back to that time I was sitting beneath a ceiling fan
(, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 10:40, closed)
I was in 'Nam...
(, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 11:59, closed)

(, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 12:52, closed)
Yeah, because helium is so explosive.

(, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 16:09, closed)
Too srow, mothafucka!
(dunno why I typed that in racist pseudo-Japanese ... so solly).
(, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 16:22, closed)

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