Right, better get this out of the way...
My dad used to be the mechanic for a fleet of bakery vans, in the early 1970s. All the vans were Ford Transits, the old Mk1 with the little short bonnet. Under that little short bonnet was a Ford V4 engine with an endearing habit of knocking the main bearings into an oval shape, necessitating a regrind and oversize bearing shells. Even after this, they were (according to my dad) never quite right again, and always gave a bit of trouble. Their other favourite trick was snapping the drive shaft for the oil pump and distributor.

So, gentle reader, there is my tale of dodgy workplace Essexes.
(gordonjcp, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 0:08, 19 replies)

shut up

(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 0:29, closed)

You bum dogs.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 8:01, closed)

A quick check reveals that....
... indeed, no-one had made that joke in the first ten minutes. Come to that, this would appear to be the only post with the word "Essex" in the punchline.

Next time, try to post something funny, or at least clever.
(gordonjcp, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 8:45, closed)

A quick check reveals that...
this was done in the first two hours and has the benefit of being funnier and cleverer than yours.

www.b3ta.com/questions/dodgyworkethics/post1270123

And the reason you haven't found any other Essex punchlines is that everyone else has realised that it is a shitty obvious joke. You alone appear not to have done. So congratulations on being shitter than every other B3tan. That's really an impressive feat.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 9:34, closed)

And he bums dogs.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 9:52, closed)

Well, yes, that too.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 9:52, closed)

I can't believe you'd suggest that he bums dogs.
Do you have any evidence that he bums dogs? Because that's the sort of scurrilous dog-bumming rumour that has ruined the internet experience for honest, decent dog bummers.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 10:12, closed)

Of course i have evidence.
Any experienced dog bummer knows the lingo. I can't believe you are talking about dog bumming and don't even know what a 'fleet of bakery vans' is code for.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 10:17, closed)

I'm more of a horse licker.
They make an incredibly satistfying slappy slurp noise when you get them proper worked up.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 10:20, closed)

Right, better get this out of the way...
My dad used to be the mechanic for a fleet of bakery vans, in the early 1970s. All the vans were Ford Transits, the old Mk1 with the little short bonnet. Under that little short bonnet was a Ford V4 engine with an endearing habit of knocking the main bearings into an oval shape, necessitating a regrind and oversize bearing shells. Even after this, they were (according to my dad) never quite right again, and always gave a bit of trouble. Their other favourite trick was snapping the drive shaft for the oil pump and distributor.

Please kindly fuck off

So, gentle reader, there is my tale of dodgy workplace Essexes.
( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 8:33, closed)

Don't let the mean bullies get to you.
I liked it.


...wait...

I'm confusing myself, what's the opposite of liked?
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 8:37, closed)

"married"
Am I right, guys? I'm here all week. Try the veal.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 8:41, closed)

Next time, try to post something funny, or at least clever.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 9:30, closed)

You horrible bully.
Just because he bums dogs.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 9:52, closed)

Nasty Dr S
My Uncle died bumming dogs.
( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 10:38, closed)

I should be banned.
ann umm
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 10:40, closed)

*obliges*

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 11:40, closed)

YES!

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 11:46, closed)

I'm sure...
but I've just looked it up on Wikipedia so I don't make myself look a cunt and now I know I'm wrong. That was close...
( His Popiness the Hole Invaded Poland on, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 21:19, closed)