Did you hear about the Irish farmer who had a lie-in?
He got a potato clock!

(He got up at eight o'clock.)
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:15, 32 replies)

Did his clock use copper and zinc electrodes inserted into a potato to generate enough electricity to run this clock?

( Airman Gabber Living life like a 70's BBC presenter, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:19, closed)

No - it's a joke, you see?
"He got a potato clock" sounds a little bit like "He got up at eight o'clock", pronounced with an Irish accent.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:21, closed)

I'm not sure that this 'jokes' thing is working out for you.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:27, closed)

So he got up at 8 o-clock because his potato alarm clock worked!
Ingenious.

I could have done with one of those tuber based wonders the other day when we had a power cut and I was late for work.
( Airman Gabber Living life like a 70's BBC presenter, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:28, closed)

OK, we understand he got up at 8 O'clock, but why
did he get a clock made from a potato?

I'd have thought it's better to make it from metal. Potatoes only last about a week, then they go crinkly, and those sprouty things appear.

I think this whole story is made up.
(username failed moderation, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:36, closed)

That's the whole pointm you see.
A potato clock is a surreal juxtaposition, which invites the audience to consider such an item humourous.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:38, closed)

Try telling that to the Irish.
Millions of them died during the potato famines.
I think it was something to do with ther potato based time-keeping devices you keep mentioning failing.
( Airman Gabber Living life like a 70's BBC presenter, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:39, closed)

No you're thinking of sheer laziness.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:40, closed)

^ pretty much, I grow potatoes in my garden with a minimum of effort

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:44, closed)

Do you turn them into clocks?
If so Vagabond may be interested. He's into that sort of stuff.
( Airman Gabber Living life like a 70's BBC presenter, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:47, closed)

Do they go
cock a doodle doo at 8 O'Clock?

Apparently people use them to wake themselves up. News to me.
(username failed moderation, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:51, closed)

The more slutty ones go "Any cock l'do" at 8-o-clock.

( Airman Gabber Living life like a 70's BBC presenter, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:03, closed)

Au contraire.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Sat 26 May 2012, 13:58, closed)

By the way, what was the
farmer doing with a lion anyway?
(username failed moderation, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:01, closed)

That's not a lion, it's a giraffe

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:05, closed)

That's not a giraffe it's the 10:32 from London Paddington.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:22, closed)

That's
a bear.
(username failed moderation, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:54, closed)

I thought it looked like a fireplace!

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:58, closed)

That was your Mum
bending over.
(username failed moderation, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:06, closed)

I think you'll find it was the tricky 19th run, culminating in a smashing victory for the Heathcote Village Triers!

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:25, closed)

I'm Irish and this offends the shit out of me
Actually I was born in America but my grandparents told me that their grandparents were from Ireland. Or Scotland, but I go to bars in Boston and order Smith Wick's now. You insensitive *bastard*.
( the prick of misery pierced my foot on a spiiiike on, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:36, closed)

Trufax
if you drink beer with green food colouring in it in St. Patricks day, you are entitled to an Irish passport.
(username failed moderation, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:55, closed)

Wait, he go up and
ate a clock?

Was it mashed or just boiled?
(username failed moderation, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:08, closed)

No no.
He got a potato clock - it sounds like "He got up at eight o'clock."

He didn't eat the clock - how could someone possibly eat a clock?! That's ridiculous!
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:26, closed)

Did he go to the dentist at Two thirty?

( Airman Gabber Living life like a 70's BBC presenter, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:45, closed)

No,because his alarm was set for 8 o'clock so he missed his appointment.
God. Read the posts before you comment.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 25 May 2012, 17:20, closed)

I've actually heard this joke somewhere before and I think the farmer got up at 9 o'clock.
( the prick of misery pierced my foot on a spiiiike on, Fri 25 May 2012, 17:45, closed)

Vag, when you have to explain it
then maybe that's when you need to ask yourself if it's worth posting.
Also - does that mean he has downs syndrome?
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 25 May 2012, 21:13, closed)

Did you hear about the irish farmer who had his penis ripped off by farm machinery and decided to make a replacement out of vegetables?
He got a potato cock! (potato cock)
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 26 May 2012, 0:39, closed)

How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman?
None.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 26 May 2012, 8:51, closed)

Stolen, repeated at pub, was met with blank stares. I had to explain about the famine.

It was a very depressing experience.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Sun 27 May 2012, 22:04, closed)

The famine, or realising your friends are spastics?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 30 May 2012, 9:17, closed)