Although not a farmer any more my dad is still very much of the 'get orf moi laaaaand' sort of person.
He's also an atheist.

So when he was minding his own business preparing logs for the fire he was particularly incensed when a couple of Jehova's witnesses appeared on his driveway offering whatever dubious bullshit these people usually offer.

"Get off my land." He announced. They, of course are used to this cunning rebuttal and carried on their spiel.

"You have 5 seconds to get off my property" he announced and proceeded to eject them from his garden.

A few weeks later my girlfriend at the time came home and said,"Your dad is blacklisted amongst Macclesfield's Jehovas witnesses. My colleague is one of them and she was recounting this story about this mad axe-man who chased them both off his land up on the Buxton road. I didn't tell them it was your dad though."

Axe, my arse, it was only a bloody saw. Damned exaggerating Jehovas can't accurately witness anything if you ask me.
( Airman Gabber Living life like a 70's BBC presenter, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:41, 7 replies)

I'm blacklisted amongst our local Jovies
mostly because the last time they rang the doorbell I presented them with 9 sides of notes on why the leaflet they left me with last time - Why you can trust the Bible - wasn't worth the paper it was printed on.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:43, closed)

An ex colleague of mine greeted 2 of them in his dressing gown and invited them in to discuss whatever it was they had Witnessed.
When they all sat down he pressed Play on the DVD player and then engaged them in conversation. Apparently Lesbian porn isn't a suitable backdrop to a discussion about Witnessing Jehova so they made their exit.
( Airman Gabber Living life like a 70's BBC presenter, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:47, closed)

They believe that the Bible's literally true (or at least as much as the Watchtower tells them to believe)
so, pretty much fish in a barrel.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:55, closed)

If you pretend to be gay or a Buddhist, they scarper pretty quickly

(IHateSprouts is baking a huge pie shaped like an enormous pie, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:24, closed)

MrsScars used to torment them for fun.
While she was off on matty leave, which went on for 14 months because Little Scars wouldn't take a bottle, she got horribly bored.

She'd get them in, sit them down, and listen politely. And let Little Scars test out her new shiny teeth on their legs.
(all my scars face forward possesses 2.5% of a hyperalloy combat chassis, Fri 25 May 2012, 17:49, closed)

I politely say "No, thank you," and bid them a good day,
but then I'm capable of interacting with other human beings in a corteous and respectful manner, which would appear to be something of a novelty.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:16, closed)

I'm sorry, what?
What part of repeated unsolicited door-banging - usually at unholy times of a weekend morning - is deserving of courtesy / respect?

In my admittedly limited experience, treating JWs with politeness just opens the way for more irritation. Like you're suddenly going to be persuaded to devote your life to some god or other. They don't just leave enough alone in response to a polite 'no thanks'.

I'm all for live & let live - but when group A's lifestyle revolves around harassing group B, then group A will be told in no uncertain manner to get fucked.
(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_ =o.o=, Mon 28 May 2012, 15:07, closed)