Anyone who has ever fantasised about making love in a field...
...has obviously never tried it.

Earth clods, stubble, insects, thistles, animal poo, etc. all intrude with unwanted reality into the erotic idyll.

However, the lanolin does make your skin lovely and soft.
( Amish Information Systems hates misplaced, commas, Mon 28 May 2012, 11:36, 7 replies)

Some people, mostly from the internet,
like that sort of thing.
(username failed moderation, Mon 28 May 2012, 12:03, closed)

Either that or you find a bit of field that's free from clods, stubble, insects, thistles, animal poo, etc.
I can't say I've ever had any problems boffing the better half in the great outdoors...and I'd thoroughly recommend it to any b3ta chaps who haven't yet taken their ladies for a weekend in the country, as in my experience a bit of al-fresco shagging is exactly what she's got in mind anyway.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Mon 28 May 2012, 14:44, closed)

Sounds like a great idea... what's your Mrs' phone number?
/obvious but I couldn't help myself
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Mon 28 May 2012, 15:17, closed)

Hahaha

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Mon 28 May 2012, 17:16, closed)

you might end up telling me to flock off
and I don't want to bleat on

the lanolin bit obviously missed you then?

Baaaaa nevermind
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Mon 28 May 2012, 15:51, closed)

Well obviously I don't have a great experience in that area
In fact, if it wasn't for wikipedia's helpful This article is about the sheep grease, I'd still assume it was something to do with cricket
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Mon 28 May 2012, 17:19, closed)

The first time I tried was at night. I went down on her and suddenly she started laughing uncontrollably. A giant lop eared rabbit had hopped over and started nuzzling her face.
The second time was on a red ants nest.
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 29 May 2012, 13:38, closed)