This is going to be truly cathartic
Mr GOTW has never had to do anything himself, when he was at home his mother did everything, and when he lived with his best friend, he used to fold Mt GOTW’s washing and I am (annoyingly) perpetuating this cycle because it is quicker to do it myself. RAAAAAH!

I shall list his daily offences:

He runs around in a blind panic shouting: Where are my keys/wallet/oyster?
He leaves his bag and shoes in the middle of the hall for me to trip over and then tidy away.
He always managed to leave his wet towels on my side of the bed.
He uses a new cup every time he makes a brew because he has left the other one somewhere.
He uses half a bog roll to wipe down the mirror in our bathroom after he’s showered so he can preen.
He never cleans up any of his spills various spills, there are more rings on my kitchen surfaces than the Elizabeth duke display counter!
At the weekend he changes his clothes about 4 times a day and leaves them on the floor, over a chair, on the newel post at the top of our stairs
He steals my socks and sometimes my pyjamas

Things that are probably genetic:

His feet smell like they are rotting most of the time and his socks, when I go to wash them, are rigid *barf*
He spills stuff all the time, down himself, on our couch and always on the bed sheets particularly when they are clean on.
When he thinks I am out of earshot, he farts, cups it in his hand, and sniffs it.
After a night out he barfed in the drain outside our house (and then panicked when a week or so later, mushrooms started growing out of the drain). When he finally made it indoors that night, he crashed into a bookcase and it fell on top of him, I found him asleep under it when I got up for a glass of water.

Things at the realms of stupidity that he has recently done:

He decided the dishwasher was a bit grubby and decided to clean it by emptying half a bottle of fairly liquid into it and switching it on. Once the Ibiza foam party was underway, he panicked used all of the bath towels to clean up the mess and then hid the towels in a bin bag in our spare room.

The first day back at work after we moved in to our flat, Mr GOTW left the door open, not ajar, no, OPEN and ON THE LATCH!

He put my massive steam generator iron on the wrong end of the ironing board and when it toppled off the board and broke, he switched off the power leaving the iron to burn a bloody great hole in the carpet, I found him hiding down the side of the bed on the phone to the iron manufacturer, credit card in hand, whisperingly ordering a replacement part and when I asked him what he was doing he screamed like a girl. Ha.

In spite of all of these annoying and ridiculous things he does, I love him to bits and couldn’t wish for a better boyfriend and I am sure that he finds my obsessive cleaning habits just as irksome.
(GirlOfTheWorld, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 11:26, 11 replies)

Is your name June by any chance?

( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 11:47, closed)

I'm sorry you are going to have to explain this one for me.

(GirlOfTheWorld, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 12:03, closed)

Do do dododododo do do do do dooooh.
Juuuuuuuunnnne?
( number5 has been fighting tramps and losing., Fri 5 Oct 2012, 15:51, closed)

A friendly warning
Do not on any account invite the vicar round to tea or you will find your beloved hiding in the wardrobe wearing EITHER a replica Nazi uniform OR one of your nighties.
(Rise and Fall of the Atomic Cabbage Haven't you heard of suspension of disbelief?, Sat 6 Oct 2012, 1:21, closed)

Your should totally marry him,
if only to spare his mum from his moving back in.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 11:49, closed)

She quite often says "Ah well, I am so glad he lives with you now".
Smug witch.
(GirlOfTheWorld, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 12:03, closed)

LEGEND!!

(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 12:42, closed)

Click for 'more rings than lizzy duke counter'
Also re the fairy liquid in the dishwasher thing, I've done this at least once and ended up with a sea of foam across the kitchen.

If it happens to you, put something oily and greasy in - like a cookerhood filter, or just a plate smeared in oil, and it dies right back to a manageable level of foaminess.

You end up with so much foam that the dishwasher enters a permanent 'rinse' cycle to get rid of the foam, which just creates more of it...
(harrypitta friends with the chilli saucerer, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 12:45, closed)

hahaaha
I liked the caught-behind-sofa scream.
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 14:13, closed)

Have a click for girly screaming
You made me do an office lol
(SimianKid internet faffer, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 14:32, closed)

Re. "When he thinks I am out of earshot, he farts, cups it in his hand, and sniffs it."
Gulp. I'm a woman and I do that. I do it at work.

Is it really, really bad?
(IHateSprouts is baking a huge pie shaped like an enormous pie, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 18:39, closed)