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This is a question Driven to Madness

Captain Placid asks: What annoying things do significant others, workmates and other people in general do that drive you up the wall? Do you want to kill your other half over their obsessive fridge magnet collection? Driven to distraction over your manager's continued use of Comic Sans (The Font of Champions)? Tell us.

(, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 12:11)
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supermarket vultures
As a supermarket employee who has the dubious joy of reducing goods on the days date, you have to develop a skin thicker than that on a rhino's arse. For the biggest peril of the job are the hard core yellow label specialists a.k.a. vultures.

I know money is tight and people are on the lookout for a cut price meal where they can, but it is the greedy ones who are usually the most offensive and deserving of a good kicking.

Vultures are the customers who are only happy to buy something once it is as cheap as they can get it and have a tendency to fill a basket or trolley with reduced price goods. With some of them it's play spot the full price item.

It is common to refer to applying the final reductions as feeding time at the zoo, especially in the chilled food aisle, as this is their preferred area to pounce on unwary staff.

whilst they are helping us by taking otherwise unwanted stock, there are a few who have mastered the art of being a first class asshole.
Some will hold on to their chosen item and give it to you to reduce, with the most ignorant just thrusting it at you.
Others will pester until a specific product is reduced, with the most determined hanging around like a bad smell. You quickly learn to not carry out requests unless you love being harassed.

They always like to test the resolve of a newbie.

The true arseholes though will try and grab it out of your hand as soon as it has been reduced and you're about to put it in the reduced area. It's not much fun being caught between 2 people trying to grab the same item as you put it down.
They're also great at acting like kids - we've once had 2 vultures argue over access to a reduction area and ask a member of staff to resolve the dispute FFS.

In our attempt to keep our sanity, we start giving some of them nicknames such as Joseph Fritzl to a middle aged polish gent; cancer man and his pal to 2 guys who would shop together(one of them had cancer), and an old dear who looks like an extra from the original 'the hills have eyes', as we're not allowed to tell them to GTF, as 1)reductions are a company policy not a legal requirement
2) they are not our superiors and can't boss us about.

(, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 20:58, 9 replies)
Actually, the Fuknuts who I hate
Are the ones who decide to 'reduce' the price of items so that they actually work out dearer !
I refer to items that may very well cost (for example) £4.50 if bought singly (by illiterate and innumerate cretins) but are more usually bought as part of a Buy any 2 for £6.00 deal.
'Reducing' the single price to £4.00 is NOT a proper reduction, especially if you take two to the checkout and the Bastards either :
a) try to sting you for £8.00 or
b) charge you the £6.00 multibuy price.
Te$co are Right Cunts for this.
(, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 21:12, closed)
You may win
Some systems implement the multibuy as a "Remove £x from the final total" regardless of the price paid. So, for example, if smoothies cost £3 each or two for a fiver, our bill is whatever it would have been less a quid. This applies even if you bought the smoothies reduced to 10p each, so you end up paying -80p for them. I have heard reports of people being given cash at the till, but cannot confirm this.
(, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 22:11, closed)
This used to be the case...
... years ago, as a student, I mastered the art of being paid (a trivial sum) to take away supermarket yellow-ticket food. Obviously I also bought something else (most often beer) so that I still handed over some money, but the food items served only to reduce the cost of my beer.

Sadly, that calculation method seemed to die out shortly after, and that was 14 years or so ago.
(, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 23:03, closed)
I did used to the 'cheaps' within reason
I still have an eye for a bargain, but you're right there are some mentalists who seem to believe they're entitled to everything at a cut price.There was a program on a couple of years ago where a woman became obsessed with yellow sticker food and only bought it. Her husband wasn't happy and they went through actually how unfit for consumption the food which she was sorting actually was. Yes, occasionally you'll get an absolute bargain, but eating old sandwiches for the next day, borderline milk to wash down chicken liver with brown tinged meat isn't really necessary.She'd basically become addicted to saving in the same way gamblers get hooked.
(, Wed 10 Oct 2012, 1:58, closed)
Maybe if you'd paid some FUCKING ATTENTION IN SCHOOL you wouldn't have wound up as a till-monkey in Lidls.

(, Wed 10 Oct 2012, 3:49, closed)
Says the bloke
who watches clouds out of the window in the falklands.
(, Wed 10 Oct 2012, 8:43, closed)
And gets paid a HELL of a lot to do so.
*Smugs it RIGHT up*
(, Wed 10 Oct 2012, 9:16, closed)
Fair point about the whole gazing out the window thing though. I DID find a job that pays me to do EXACTLY that, much to the chagrin of EVERY teacher I ever had. :D
Living the dream, right here.
(, Wed 10 Oct 2012, 11:15, closed)

(, Wed 10 Oct 2012, 18:19, closed)

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