I'm so grateful they weren't my parents
Those that know me are aware I'm not great with 'organised religion'. I have absolutely nothing against it and in fact find it marvelous when someone finds faith. My big pet peeve is someone saying their religion is right and others (i.e yours) are wrong. I have a live and let live attitude and if I had to put a label to my faith it would be eclectic wicca (blessed be my 'homies')
I don't flaunt my faith (as by and large religion just seems to get people in trouble) but if asked I never hide it. Where do the drunk parents come in? Well I was at my brothers engagement party. Night is going swimmingly and the two families are mixing well. During the evening a small, middle-aged blonde woman approaches and strikes up a conversation. Somehow we get on the subject of religion and she enquires about my faith as she had never heard about this delightful 'wicca'. Like the ignorant fool I was I happily explained how people should basically be nice to each other, eat free range meat and so long as you're not hurting anyone and are happy, there is no wrong way to live your life (e.g I don't think there has ever been a gay army invading weaker, breeder nations). Woman seemed interested and wandered off.

Three pieces of information would have been useful;

1, This was the Step-Mother of the bride to be
2, She certainly liked a drink (often against her better judgment)
3, Was a holier-than-thou fundamentalist Christian (an example being you shouldn't let girls play football or they will grow up to be lesbians - direct quote)

Within five minutes I'd forgotten the conversation until she sways up to me with bright red cheeks and an empty glass in one hand. She delivered a line I was so staggered by I didn't know whether to slap her or burst out laughing. With a calm, steadying hand placed on mine she said;

'I just want you to know, no matter what 'phases' you might go through, Jesus will always love you.'

I watched her weave away thinking somehow her statement should either be on my gravestone or in the civil partnership vows.
(Gherkinlasagna is probably doing something stupid on, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 20:13, 12 replies)

What has the opinion that girls that play football will grow up to be lesbians
got to do with being a Christian? I would have thought it's got more to do with being an moron.
( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 23:50, closed)

Don't get me wrong, I do not take her as an example of all christians
Because the response (at least that I had) was 'What would be wrong with having a lesbian for a daughter anyway?'. To her it would be a terrible, shameful thing
(Gherkinlasagna is probably doing something stupid on, Sun 27 Feb 2011, 0:07, closed)

i know a woman
who is supposedly a christian. when she found out her daughter was gay, she said "how could i have raised something like that?"
stupid, narrow-minded cunt.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 27 Feb 2011, 0:15, closed)

Ivan
I worked for an idiot who was adamant that if any of his 6 children were gay they'd be beaten up and disowned. He is/was a staunch Daily Mail reader (bless him, he believed everything he read, 'they wouldn't be allowed to make stuff up, it's a newspaper') and was probably so far in the closet himself that he was on first name terms with Mr Tumnus.
(ceeej, Sun 27 Feb 2011, 7:56, closed)

what an arse

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 27 Feb 2011, 12:30, closed)

What's his b3ta username?
LOL!
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sun 27 Feb 2011, 21:41, closed)

I once went to KFC and a black guy served a zinger tower burger but he forgot the Zinger sauce, I'm not saying he is representative of all black people, some black people don't want to cheat me out of zinga sauce, but this one gave the rest a bad name.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 27 Feb 2011, 10:48, closed)

Best reply this week.

( Wet-chinned bag shanker Cannot parse Wogan, Sun 27 Feb 2011, 11:28, closed)

I think I love you P'Pops.

( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Sun 27 Feb 2011, 11:55, closed)

I've never worked out why christians hate the gays.
I mean, didn't Jesus demand that Satan Got Thee Behind Him?
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sun 27 Feb 2011, 14:44, closed)

The bit where it says that "Man shall not lie with man as with a woman"
...which is usually what the fundies are basing their twitching on, it also says that it is equally abominable to wear clothes of two different threads. So, next time some bigot starts spouting that "God hates gays", politely enquire, for example, if the socks under his cotton jeans are made of polyester.

And if so, stone him to death.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Mon 28 Feb 2011, 11:28, closed)

AND
you can't have a tattoo, a piercing and need to fuck your sister in law if your bro dies. Good times.
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Mon 28 Feb 2011, 23:38, closed)